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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Saturday, May 25, 2024
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Swiftie Super Bowl Sunday album announcement

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Taylor’s team is in the Super Bowl this year, and we all should be rooting for the Chiefs. But the queen is once again planning to blow our minds with her masterful music.

Swift is teasing us for the reveal of a lifetime after already blessing us with “The Tortured Poets Department” announcement, but she has one more surprise in store that only real Swifties will notice.

Super Bowl LVIII? Super Bowl 58? It’s so obvious. She’s 34 and Kelce is 34. That equals 68. Take that minus LVIII. That equals 10. Now Kelce’s jersey number, 87, and his and Taylor’s birth year, 89, and subtract 89 minus 87. That equals two. Add 10 and two and you’ll get 12. You know what album came out in 2012? Red. The hex code for red is FF000. F is the fifth letter in the alphabet and there are five characters in the hex code. If you add those together, 12 and 5, you get 17. 

What age was Taylor Swift when she launched her debut, titular album? She was seventeen.

Taylor Swift (Taylor’s Version) is coming out.

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