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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Friday, February 23, 2024

Hey Morgan! I’ve been seeing this guy for a while and he just asked to be exclusive. I really like him. The only problem is he doesn’t have a job and doesn’t really go to class that much. What should I do?

Tell him to lay off the sigma male podcasts.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Ah, the start of the semester, and love is in the air. Except it’s not love — it's fear! 

It’s the fear that “oh, my parents met in college, and the last five guys I’ve talked to wouldn’t even let me call him my boyfriend.” The fear that graduating with a degree isn’t enough, I need a man too. 

This fear leads people to do the worst thing they can possibly do: lower their standards. 

You think a guy that doesn’t care about school is going to care about your relationship? Without a job, how is he going to take you out on dates? And no, sitting in your apartment watching the show he picked out is not a date. 

Honestly, do you think his “C's get degrees” mindset, no outside involvement and who cares internship is going to impress a job interviewer after college? NO! Now look at you. Not only are you in crippling debt, but you have to take care of dead weight, too. 

Tell that man to shape up or ship out because you deserve better. And if he tells you you’re acting like a gold-digger, tell him to lay off the sigma male podcasts. 

Hope this helps! 

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