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Thursday, June 08, 2023
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Elon Musk: ‘My number one rule is to be explosive’

In the wake of purchasing Twitter, the eccentric billionaire opens up about his philosophy as CEO.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Billionaire Elon Musk has found himself in the middle of the media’s attention for his controversial strategy as the new owner and CEO of social media platform Twitter. The platform is used by many journalists to stay in-the-know. So, when he decided to fire roughly half the staff of Twitter in his first couple weeks at the helm, the media was quick to criticize. He says this is all part of the plan.

“You don’t get to where I am as an entrepreneur by thinking small,” Musk told The Beet. “My number one rule for the companies I run is to be explosive.”

Musk, also the CEO of car company Tesla and rocket corporation SpaceX, stressed the importance of having companies that catch fire, even unexpectedly.

“I have nothing against those who want to play it safe in life or in business,” Musk continued. “But I set my sights on creating products that bring unexpected excitement … a sense of unpredictable possibility, or if you will, a spontaneous combustion that you can’t get anywhere else.”

So it seems his decision to “blow up” Twitter is not straying from his central business mindset, but he said it did take some adaptability.

“Twitter doesn’t make cars or space rockets,” Musk noted. “There was some engineering, some innovation that went into making Twitter as explosive as my other companies. I went back to the drawing board, nearly from scratch, to define what it means for a website to combust — and I must say, I am loving the result so far. As they say, you don’t break through walls or bust through ceilings without setting a few fires.”

Musk added that he sees his acquisition of Twitter as another step toward bringing fire into the tech world.

“No other car company, for instance, is as committed as Tesla at making products that catch on fire,” Musk said. “The problem with the Metaverse, as much as I believe in the virtual future, is that it’s not a product that ignites. Those headsets — I just don’t see it as a product that will melt users’ brains.”

However, this was not all Musk had to say regarding his fellow tech titans.

“Twitter is not yet Facebook, but I’d like to think I’m inspiring my new competitor [Mark Zuckerberg] to bring some explosiveness to his leadership style. I’d even enjoy seeing Bezos make Amazon go up in flames — the company that is … well actually both,” Musk concluded.

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Jeffrey Brown

Jeffrey Brown is a former Arts Editor for the Daily Cardinal. He writes for The Beet occasionally and does some drawing and photography too. He is a senior majoring in Sociology. Do not feed him after midnight.

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