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Friday, May 27, 2022
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Daily Cardinal daddy issues poll 2022

“I don’t know of a single journalist that’s well adjusted.”

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

As students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, we walk by thousands of people on campus every day. Unfortunately, no matter how dedicated or likable someone may be, it’s impossible to get to know every single face that can be seen huffing their way up Bascom Hill or smiling in a drunken haze while slinking down State Street (who am I kidding, it’s everywhere) at 1 a.m. on a Friday morning.

Still, if given the opportunity, there are so many questions worth asking our fellow Badgers. Where are they from? What are their goals? What brings them joy? Well, the question that eats at me every time I walk these streets is something a little different — how many people have daddy issues? Using my available resources, also known as Google Forms and The Daily Cardinal’s Slack channel, I have come closer to answering my query. 

After considering my options, I decided to pose two questions. First, “How is your relationship with your father?” Second, “How is your relationship with your mother?” After all, while less talked about, there’s no way mommy issues aren’t a thing.

Then, I provided three available options: “strong,” “fine, I guess” and “not good at all.” To cover all of my bases, I also added a box for those who had clarifications or other comments to make.

As hypothesized, a resounding 81% of respondents have strong relationships with their mothers. 14.3% selected “fine, I guess,” leaving 4.8% in the “not good at all” category.

Now, let’s get to the daddies. Of those surveyed, 52.4% have strong relationships with their fathers. However, differing from my assumption going into this experiment, only 19% responded with “not good at all.” Frankly, I don’t know of a single journalist that’s well adjusted, so either people are lying or they have some skeletons in their closets.

The most intriguing part of the study lay in the comment box. Among the responses were statements such as, “My dad is older than your dad prob,” “My relationship is even stronger with your mom” and the succinct “Don’t worry ‘bout it!!!” 

Through the 2022 Daily Cardinal daddy issues poll, I gained a better understanding of those around me. That being said, I do not plan on being kinder to my fellow Cardinalistas. Rather, I look forward to using the information as ammunition when needed. To any co-workers reading this, thanks and god bless. 

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