Skip to Content, Navigation, or Footer.
The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Sunday, January 23, 2022
Aaron Rodgers Touchdown Run
Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers scrambles out of the pocket and runs into the end zone for a touchdown in a game against the Oakland Raiders at Lambeau Field, in Green Bay, Wisconsin on October 20, 2019. Rodgers threw 5 touchdown passes and ran for another as he amassed a perfect quarterback rating. The Packers won 42-24. For more go to www.elviskennedy.com

NFL MVP exempt from COVID-19 protocols

All articles featured in Almanac are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.


The Green Bay Packers exempt MVP quarterback Aaron Rodgers from coronavirus protocols after he tested positive for COVID-19. 

This comes after he petitioned the NFL to have alternative treatment that would allow him to be considered the same as someone who received an approved vaccine, and would allow him to play this weekend.

In supporting his teammates' choices to stay unvaccinated, Rodgers misled the media in August saying in response to whether he had been vaccinated that he was “immunized.”

“I really don’t understand what the issue is,” said Rodgers. “I mean I don’t wear a mask in the facilities, I haven’t been vaccinated and I drink scotch out of the same glass that I have been since I won a superbowl ring in 2011.”

“I’m just doing the same thing, plus a little more, that the majority of my fanbase in Wisconsin has been doing since the beginning of the pandemic, I don’t think I should be penalized for that,” said Rodgers.

Other NFL players benched for the required 10 days demanded an explanation on Twitter for how such a blatant case of favoritism could be allowed.

“If I grew an awesome stache and had the appearance that I haven’t slept in a month, could I have played in the game following my positive test?” tweeted Patriots quarterback, Cam Newton.

Some fans jumped to defend Rodgers actions.

“Damn if I had an arm like that I wouldn’t want to be sore for two days either. Even if it did mean keeping an entire franchise that pays me millions of dollars a year secure,” said Robert Calona

The NFL was quick to respond, saying “Because Rodgers said he was immunized we’re just going to treat him like he was vaccinated because 50% of the US population seems to have the same misconstruction that those two are one in the same.”

They defended their choice, explaining, “Rodgers can run pretty quickly; it would be a shame not to see him do that during a nationally televised event, even if that does change opinion surrounding an FDA approved vaccine.”

Enjoy what you're reading? Get content from The Daily Cardinal delivered to your inbox

“We’re in no position to deny Wisconsinites the pure joy of a man who could give a shit about them throwing around a football to his teammates that he could potentially infect,” said the NFL.

They also said they were changing the standards within COVID protocol.

They apologized for their mishandling on COVID up until this point. “Moving forward,” the NFL spokesman said, “we will be going about the pandemic the same way as the majority of people in America, by pretending it doesn’t exist.”

Support your local paper
Donate Today
The Daily Cardinal has been covering the University and Madison community since 1892. Please consider giving today.
Comments


Powered by SNworks Solutions by The State News
All Content © 2022 The Daily Cardinal