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Friday, May 27, 2022
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Elizabeth Warren answers questions at a press conference following Super Tuesday.

Elizabeth Warren Accused of Tanking Campaign to Receive First Overall Draft Pick for 2024 Presidential Election

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Following her lackluster Super Tuesday performance, multiple sources are accusing Elizabeth Warren of tanking her campaign in order to receive the first overall draft pick for the 2024 Presidential Campaign Season. Warren has denied the allegations.

“The Warren campaign has not engaged in any acts of tanking during the 2020 Campaign Season,” a campaign aide said. “We are looking forward to the first-round pick, though, and we are looking forward to the opportunity to rebuild our campaign team for 2024.”

A tough schedule of opponents and poor messaging led Warren’s campaign to perform poorly in the first few primaries and on Super Tuesday, thus destroying her hopes of being nominated for the general election. Despite her campaign's shortcomings, however, Warren's Super Tuesday performance was uncharacteristically below expectations, which has led to the allegations of tanking.

Accusations aside, there has been much speculation over who she will choose to join her 2024 campaign staff. According to the morning shows on ESPNBC, the consensus seems to be that Warren will use her first overall pick to draft a new Campaign Manager. However, draft analysts have identified she needs replacements at every applicable position. She may especially benefit from a strong team of Fundraisers or Field Organizers.

“We are disappointed that our 2020 season did not turn out as promising as we had hoped,” Warren said in a press conference late Tuesday night. “But that’s just how campaigns go sometimes. Going forward, we are ready to regroup, fundraise hard in the off season and hit the ground running in 2024.”

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