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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Sunday, May 28, 2023

Paul Ryan attempts to whisper through his lips during an interview.

Republicans say it's not the time to talk about gun control, but whispering is fine

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

In light of the recent Texas church shooting, the topic of gun control laws has once again been brought to dinner tables just in time for Thanksgiving. While some may view this recent event as the perfect opportunity to examine our laws, and perhaps make changes, others believe it is too soon to discuss the topic openly. However, they believe that while it may be rude or inconsiderate to openly talk about gun control laws, we can still whisper about them.

This practice was first noticed when Speaker of the House Paul Ryan was asked by Cardinal staffers to comment on the Texas church shooting and the possibility of him and other Republicans considering changes to current gun laws. Ryan whispered, “At this time, I believe we should consider looking at gun laws, but we should be as polite as possible to the families whose loved ones were taken away.” When asked to clarify, Ryan shushed reporters and said “Now is not the time to talk about gun control, whisper instead. If the families can’t hear you, then it’s not rude.”

Some Republicans may agree with this practice, but others, most notably U.S. Vice President Mike Pence very strongly disagree. When asked why he flew all the way to the House meeting just to walk out of it, he told Cardinal reporters, “Whispering is essentially kneeling with your words. There’s no way I could support such a thing.”

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