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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Thursday, February 02, 2023

Tangled headphone cable proves minor annoyance for Madison resident

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

In a slightly annoyed state Monday night, area-man Luke Bauer reached into his pocket and discovered that, yet again, his Bose earbuds had twisted themselves into an intricate knot.
The incident—which really wasn’t a big deal—caused Bauer to sigh heavily and yank on random parts of the wire.
“The entire sight was pretty relatable,” said local witness George Hartin. “I’ve been there, and lemme tell ya, it ever so slightly makes your day worse.”
Bauer untangled the knot in the amount of time one might expect when doing this type of activity, but discovered one of the little rubber headphone covers was missing.
The Bose “FreeStyle” earbuds advertise “tangle-free” technology or your money back. This imperceptibly annoyed man might take that offer, or he may not, since the whole ordeal really wasn’t that much of an inconvenience.
After the headphone cord was de-coiled, a slightly brightening Bauer flipped through his array of cringey 90s rock and settled on Nickelback—a classic for the now-cheery man.
“There really is nothing better than listening to Chad Kroeger’s raspy voice after an experience like reaching into your pocket and finding a mangled mess of wires,” Bauer said.
Bauer was later seen taping part of the wire that had become frayed, causing the previously happy man to become even more ticked off at the small, annoying things in his otherwise amazing life.

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