THE BEET Whispering Sweet Nothings All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news. Support your local paper Donate Today The Daily Cardinal has been covering the University and Madison community since 1892. Please consider giving today. More Talk to MnookinBot Peter’s haikus for you I’m going to commit $270 worth of property damage to the university
Board of Regents names UW-Superior chancellor interim Universities of Wisconsin president By Sonia Bendre and Grace Carlson | 05/08/2026