Whispering Sweet Nothings

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

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Daily Cardinal office in dire straits after losing communal napkin

How to water a beet for world domination

‘Everything deserves a place in the marketplace of ideas,’ said self-described moderate food critic before eating entire bowl of cat piss, shit

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Solutions by The State News