A result of past student feedback, this summer’s Student Orientation, Advising and Registration is mandating an hour-long workshop on practical solutions for dealing with late-night alcohol consumption in residence halls.
Goading Inebriated Tramps to Orient Undertakings That-a-way (GIT-OUT), the debut SOAR workshop, is designed to tackle the future reality many burgeoning Badgers will face head-on: drunk people in their dorm room, potentially on either a weekend or a a school night.
The workshop is designed with a simple, three-step lesson plan in mind, according to GIT-OUT coordinator Halls Banks.
“The first step is empathy. See, we want to make them realize there’s a real problem here,” Banks explained. “We get a little help from technology with that.”
All SOAR participants are issued a special set of hearing aids and instructed to explore a simulated party environment filled with fake alcohol and many fake drunk students.
“We strap these really loud hearing aids on them, put the SOARers in a tiny room, and then all the counselors meander around the room, shouting meaningless half-facts about their lives through megaphones,” said Halls. “It’s really meant to dial in on that unwanted dorm-party-at-2 a.m.- experience.”
The second step of the program is focused on applicable strategies for expelling drunk visitors from a room quickly and effectively, but also safely.
Halls and three-year SOAR counselor Catie Baughman summarized confidently.
“The last half’s two basic parts, ushering and cleanup,” Baughman said. “The number one thing with ushering is showing no mercy.”
“Drunk people feed on weakness,” Halls added.
“Exactly, you can’t expect them to pity you. Don’t mention the midterm you have at 7:45 [a.m.] the next morning, or that the comforter the guy who’s sitting on your bed is spilling beer on is a hand-woven, third-generation family heirloom. Just tell them there’s a better, louder party with more beer down the hall,” Baughman said.
“I really wish I had the GIT-OUT experience when I was an incoming freshman,” Baughman added. “Ninety percent of Madison freshmen live in dorms. Excepting the ones who either don’t drink, or drink responsibly, that’s a whole lot of dumb packed into a small space. You gotta know how to deal with it.”