The Board of Regents’ sixth-annual bake sale was a smash hit last weekend. Drawing off the energetic homecoming crowds, the Regents were able to sell over $200 worth of brownies, cookies, bars and other delicious treats.
“In a time marred by plummeting state funding and increasing enrollment rates, it falls upon us as board members to make sure that this institution stays afloat,” Board President Regina Millner said.
The Regents spent much of the week leading up to the sale perfecting their recipes and making colorful signs to raise awareness for their fundraising cause. Badger fans and alumni seemed happy to help out if they could; some even tossed their extra change into the Regents’ tip jar.
“With the futures of so many bright minds at stake we figured it was the least we could do,” one board member added. “It feels good knowing that all of our hard work has paid off.”
When asked what she intends to do with the new funding, Chancellor Rebecca Blank spoke to her concerns about personnel layoffs and the rising costs of tuition.
“Ideally all of this money will go directly towards the student body in the form of scholarships, but it might also be good to restock the school’s dwindling chalk reserves,” she said.
Student activists have praised the board’s action and withdrawn past claims that the board doesn’t care about the university’s financial future.
“I always thought the regents were a bunch of governor-appointed bureaucrats,” UW-Madison junior Michael Onserio said. “But a move like this really restores my faith in the folks at the top. We just might be alright.”
The Board of Regents is currently in the planning stages of next spring’s car wash fundraiser.