According to a report released Monday by the Simmons Research Center, Speed Farming is America’s fastest growing sport.
Speed Farming beat out other top growing sports, such as Speed Gardening, World’s Fastest Beard and Quick Puberty to earn the title.
Simmons based its nomination on a comprehensive set of criteria, including rate of growth over time and scale of production.
In Speed Farming, two competitors race to see how quickly they can grow one full acre of crops.According to speedfarming.org, matches typically last anywhere from one month to 55 days, however, top Speed Farmers can bring crops to maturity in less than three weeks. The sport is broken down into crop-classes, such as soybeans, potatoes, wheat and corn.
According to Dr. Harold Francovis, an expert on growing sports and an avid Speed Farmer, the Simmons report is a godsend.
“American Speed Farming has been rapidly losing popularity in the wake of all the recent controversy,” Francovis said. “Hopefully this report will inspire young growers all over the country to put down their Speed Petri Dish sets and get back to plowing the field.”
In the past month, numerous reports have flooded cable news outlets detailing the negative aspects of Speed Farming.
Top Speed Farmers have been accused of using genetically modified plants and banned pesticides.
President of Environmentalists Against Speed Farming Linda Walters says GMOs and pesticides are not all that’s wrong with the controversial sport.
“Speed Farming promotes raping the landscape,” Walters said. “These athletes don’t utilize environmentally sound farming practices, like crop rotation. Wherever Speed Farmers go, they leave behind a thin layer of topsoil that runs off after the first rain storm. If everyone Speed Farmed, we’d be looking at another Dust Bowl.”
While Francovis admits Speed Farming is somewhat controversial, he claims it receives an unfair amount of criticism compared to other growing sports, especially with the rising popularity of Rush Pregnancy.
