Football fans across the country have been overcome with distress as the Bowl Championship Series era of college football comes to a close.
The BCS is the beloved system that uses a complex combination of human polls and computer rankings to select the participants of the five most important bowl games, including the National Championship game. The overwhelmingly popular system will be replaced by a four-team playoff for the 2014-’15 season going forward.
Most Americans are outraged by the progressive nature of the NCAA. “Canceling the BCS is the worst thing to happen to the United States since Tim Tebow was cut by the Patriots,” revered sports pundit and national icon Skip Bayless said. “What’s next, moving the Fourth of July to February?”
An anonymous poll conducted by Twitter revealed that 87 percent of Americans “fucking love the BCS,” and that 12.99 percent “have absolutely no idea what it is.” Only a single individual out of the millions polled indicated they “disagree with the BCS system.” It’s believed to be NCAA President and notorious evil dictator Mark Emmert himself.
While some radical enthusiasts such as Emmert insist the future playoff system will be significantly fairer—in addition to disbanding any controversy over which two teams should play for the National Championship–the majority of educated humans still support the BCS.
“Why should college football be fair?” surprisingly athletic politician and U.S. President Barack Obama said. “Life isn’t even fair.”
At press time, all college football loyalists decided to convert to die-hard Major League Soccer supporters.
