Jungle natives were frustrated after another routine chase sequence ended in a successful waterfall jump Wednesday.
Archaeologist-Adventurer Jared Lang escaped the natives after diving off of a 100 foot waterfall, the third treasure-seeker to do so this month.
“I keep replaying the whole thing in my head over and over trying to figure out how we let this happen again,” one irritated native said.
After removing a golden idol from the inner sanctum of the Temple of Riches and outrunning a boulder booby-trapped to roll over him, Lang was pursued by the angry natives through the ruins of the Lost City.
“We knew the boulder wouldn’t get him, it never gets anybody. So, we did some light stretching and got ready for the big chase like we always do,” another native said.
Lang headed for the tree-line with the natives hot on his heels. Initially, Lang’s chances of survival were slim.
“There were arrows whizzing by my head, snakes dangling from trees and tons of quicksand.” Lang said. “Seriously, I’ve never seen so much quicksand in my life.”
Lang gained some ground when he crossed a piranha-filled stream by using alligators’ heads as stepping-stones. But the relentless natives closed the gap after a vine Lang was swinging on snapped in his hand.
However, the natives knew the chase would end in disappointment after they encircled a ragged Lang at a clearing overlooking the large waterfall.
“I just threw my spear into the ground,” the lead native said. “And you just knew he was going to survive the jump, too.”
Lang took the plunge, neither dashing his brains on the outcroppings below nor the sharp rocks at the bottom of the falls. He swam to shore and brandished the golden idol for the natives to see.
At press time, sources confirmed that the natives had given up trying to roll the 15 ton booby trap boulder back into place after four hours of back-breaking effort.
