While former Gov. Mitt Romney clearly edged out President Barack Obama at the presidential debate, political analysts after the vice presidential debate concluded Vice President Joe Biden and U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan both finished strong.
According to James Carville, Biden edged out Ryan in hand motions, while Ryan beat out the vice president in “smizing” or “smiling with your eyes.”
After media outlets criticized Obama for coming off as sleepy and tired, Biden reportedly smoked a joint beforehand to bring his energy up. It worked, as he won in the “excitement level” category.
Following Ryan’s answers throughout the evening, Biden convulsed into a string of giggles staring at the size of Ryan’s widow’s peak.
“The left side of the screen was a complete giggle-fest,” Carville said.
Biden won in making up new names for numbers, while Ryan was twice as patriotic because “his American flag pin was twice as big,” according to Carville.
Ryan also edged out Biden in the “being in accordance with what his running-mate says half of the time” section.
Following the debate portion of the night, the candidates faced off in the more important, but less publicized, swimsuit and talent competitions to conclude the evening.
Ryan beat Biden in the swimsuit portion with Prada resortwear, while Biden donned his “fave trunks from ’87.”
“Biden’s trunks had a great deal of character, but in the end it came down to taste,” Carville said.
Biden then performed a standup comedy routine, which sources confirm he had been practicing in front of his dog, random tourists at the National Mall and Malia, The President’s daughter. The three-minute routine consisted of jokes about Ryan’s widows peak, which he called an “available, un-divorced lady my age” peak, and the time he found five dollars. Ryan’s talent was wearing his Prada resortwear while also smizing. They tied.
