After arguing the city’s State Street panhandling ban was a violation of free speech, the American Civil Liberties Union sent a follow-up call Thursday to show Mayor Paul Soglin all the other ways the ACLU has been a source of First Amendment fun.
“Not only have we stood beside panhandlers, but we have supported all those underrepresented groups whose voices are crowded out by society,” said ACLU’s lawyer, Karyn Rotker. “The Westboro Baptist Church, the American Flagburners’ Association, the people incarcerated for taking nudie photos of children, Wade Page’s ghost and red squirrels all deserve protection in the eyes of the law.
“Everyone deserves a voice, no matter how deranged that voice is. All be heard!” Rotker concluded with a yell. A flock of pigeons nearby scattered.
As political theory students ponder the limits of the first amendment inside the classroom, rest assured that outside the classroom the ACLU is doing its part to stretch those limits to include all sentences, photos and public displays of affection to be spoken anytime, anywhere, to anyone, always.
At press time, the ACLU said they supported this article’s defamation of the ACLU.
