Liking sports is an anomaly. Why do we care so much about people that don’t know who we are and get paid millions of dollars to play a game? Why do we have these irrational notions that all people from Boston are pompous assholes and all New Yorkers cheat just because of the Red Sox and Yankees? How can someone care more about how an oblong-shaped ball bounces after a kickoff then the upcoming election? But the serious question here is how could someone ask such stupid questions when the obvious answer is because sports are awesome, and I can prove it.
First, my qualifications to give this advice to all non-sports fans: During last week’s Monday Night Football game in which the Packers were robbed (also known as “Fail Mary,” however I also enjoy “GoldenGate,” “TateGate,” and “Oh My God, Are You Kidding Me. How Incompetent Do You Have to be to Make That Call… what was I saying again?), I actually teared up a little bit thinking about how something I’ve loved for so long (the NFL) could do such an injustice. I spent the rest of the night consistently checking Twitter, watching Sportscenter on repeat and wallowing in my own sadness. That sounds insane to someone that doesn’t care about sports, but the entire Packer fan base are nodding their heads in agreement.
So why did I spend hours hating on Roger Goodell and the NFL when I should’ve done homework instead? Because I’m a fan, plain and simple.
So what makes a fan? Geography, History, Anger and Family (or GHAF… that sounds weird).
Geography: There’s a certain elitism every city feels, and there’s a certain sadness that some cities (*cough*Cleveland*cough*) feel, and all of this is compounded by the sports in the city. Sports can play a huge role in shaping a city’s identity, whether it be the economy (see: Cleveland before and after Lebron James) or how much people know about it (you think anyone would know where Green Bay is without four Super Bowls?). If you grow up in a sports area, you’ve got to cheer for the team, or else you’re an outcast.
History: There’s a certain aura about the Green Bay Packers. They’ve won 13 NFL championships, they have legends like Nitschke, Lombardi and Starr, and they keep breaking my heart. But that history means something. The 20 years you have been a fan you have really been a fan. There’s a certain nostalgia of your first game, the first apparel you bought and the first time you yelled a racial epithet at the other team’s point guard. If you grow up with the game you will appreciate it so much more as you grow older.
Anger: Sports is a way to release anger. There’s nothing better (worse) than when there’s a bad call made against your team and all you do is scream for three minutes straight. All that pent up frustration from the week’s classes, your parents not sending you money and NBC semi-cancelling “Community” all combine into one terror scream. And it’s totally legit for that one second, it’s like you’re commenting on YouTube comments in real life.
Family: Those who have grown up in a sports-loving family have two choices: They either appreciate it just as much or they decide to be little pricks and don’t like sports or pick a different team. Growing up I thought it would be funny to pick every team but the Packers; I was a Rams, Giants and Vikings fan until I realized that my dad had it right all along. You might not get sports if no one else in your family did, and if you didn’t have a father, then I’m sorry.
So non-sports fans, here’s the thing. Sports are awesome, sports give us a sense of community, sports give us a reason to be irrationally ignorant, and if you can’t accept that then I’m sorry. We’re here, we’re drinking beer and get used to it.
Do you think sports are super pointless? Are you from Cleveland? Tell Michael how you feel at mvoloshin@wisc.edu.
