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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Tuesday, October 07, 2025

Fake News Friday: Sleep-deprived student mistaken for zombie in campus-wide game

Chancellor David Ward and campus police began talks of banning popular campus-wide game Humans vs. Zombies Thursday after a non-playing student fell victim to Nerf-gun fire.

“Human” player, Zac Snuggler, 22, shot 19-year-old Siri Davenport in the eye with his “ammo” early Thursday morning on Bascom Hill after mistaking her for a “Zombie.”

“I mean, she looked like balls; I assumed she was just taking the character really seriously,” Snuggler said.

Davenport said the dark circles under her eyes likely stemmed from waking up for an 8:50 a.m. discussion after attending beer and shot night at Kollege Klub the evening before.

“Like, could he not see the pumpkin spice soy latte in my hand or what?” Davenport said. “I was just super tired and forgot to put on mascara. It’s not like I would ever try to play with those fugly [sic] zombie weirdoes.”

This incident of mistaken zombie identity has occurred twice in as many weeks, with both attacks happening to female students on Thursday before 9 a.m.

Campus Police spokesman Humbert Humbert noted both victims have been wearing leggings and a North Face fleece at the time of their attacks. Humbert said they are still looking into the direct relevance of this correlation.

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