This column is dedicated to my dear friend and fellow AIM user, Lindsey Klatt.
A short time ago, my friend Lindsey and I were reminiscing about the not-so-good ol’ days of middle school. Weekends consisted of making trips to the local McDonalds or Taco Bell (the only two restaurants in Grafton up until we left for college, naturally) and roaming the aisles of Shopko (Target was far too treacherous of a walk). If we were real lucky, there would be a school dance on Friday, where the boys would line up on the sides of the wall while the girls tried to imitate the latest and greatest Ciara moves on the dance floor. Yet, none of these memories sparked as much fondness in our hearts as our most favorite (and frequently engaged in) pastime: AIM.
Ah yes, my friends and I used to spend hours, literally hours on AIM just waiting for one of our six friends to sign on so we could chat them up. For the most part, typical preteen activities such as playing Scattergories, watching the latest Freddie Prince Jr. movie or joining the neighborhood chums for a round of Ghost in the Graveyard just didn’t seem to tickle our fancy. In the days of dial-up Internet, it was quite the calamity when ma or pa needed to use the phone and you regrettably had to sign off until they were done. What if you missed an important piece of gossip in the group chat room? What if your friends decided to talk smack behind your back now that you were no longer included in said chat? And, most pressing of all, what if George McDreamy was just about type those six magical words: “Will you go out with me?” (Though it most likely would have read as, “Wil u go out wit me,” because that is infinitely cooler than using proper grammar.)
The trickiest part about joining the world of instant messaging was coming up with a suitable screen name. It always seemed like the moment you discovered a fitting name, some sap had already taken it. However, I will contend with anyone who thinks my friends and I didn’t come up with pretty swank screen names:
ilovesethcohen16: Mine, age 14, from the legendary television drama “The OC.”
BriarRoseG9511: Lindsey’s from ages 12-14 and based on “Sleeping Beauty.”
redhotlindz11: Another gem of a screen name devised by Lindsey at the ripe age of 11.
iluvgc4life15: My personal favorite and undoubtedly most embarrassing screen name of mine around about age 12 because yes, I loved Good Charlotte. Testament to just how fly I was in middle school? I think so.
One of the many perks of AIM was that you could have an infinite number of accounts, meaning you could create aliases and hoodwink fellow classmates you weren’t too fond of. My alias happened to be Bubblebutt27—a fitting name considering I do not (sadly) have a bubble butt. You could also use the alias to try to find out if the classmate you are currently besotted with was covertly showing his undying love for you by pushing you into a mud puddle at recess.
I cannot forget the revered away messages, replete with angst lyrics from bands like Simple Plan or phrases such as, “I guess I’ll never be good enough…” that are just begging people to grovel for your return so you can tell them all about the woeful experience that is your 13-year-old life. Lucky for us, we can still get a fair share of those messages via Facebook statuses, but away messages had other redeeming qualities. For example, you could avoid answering someone who just asked you to the school dance by quickly posting the default, “I am away from my computer right now” and waiting until said person signs off to become available again. More importantly though, you could play coy with a potential beau or pretend as though your 13-year-old self leads a busy, important life when in reality you are either a) playing spider solitaire or b) staring at your computer screen waiting for your latest crush to sign on.
Nowadays, I appear to have a slight aversion for using the Internet, seeing as the only online accounts I have consist of my email and Facebook, which I use sparingly in comparison to others I am acquainted with. Perhaps this is due to my overindulgence in the World Wide Web as a youngster. Perhaps I don’t have enough friends to induce me to start a Twitter or a blog, for fear that I will have three followers, namely my roommate, Lindsey Klatt and some 40-year-old creeper. Regardless, it’s probably for the best that I have outgrown this mild addiction—word on the street is employers are starting to creep social media before hiring potential employees, and as a young, occasionally foolish Badger, I think it’s best to keep some of my activities under wraps.
Think your screen names were better than Rebecca’s? E-mail them to her along with your own fond memories of the good ol' AIM days at alt2@dailycardinal.com.
