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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Saturday, May 25, 2024

Fake News Friday: Whale on course eval confuses TA

After reading through mostly positive, thoughtful critiques of his efforts to lead a discussion section on Postmodernism to freshmen, Tom Gartland was completely stumped on what an anonymous student meant to tell him when they drew a whale in the additional comments box.

The whale, which the student invested far more time in coloring than weighing the pros and cons of the TA’s performance, was drawn with a sailor’s outfit and delightful smile.

“Did they mean to tell me they feel this class is bloated? Or do they feel this course is the white whale to their Ahab?” Gartland pondered. “I took some solace in the smile at first, but the more I look at it, the stronger underlying feelings of malevolent intent seem to pop out.”

After brushing through his hair, frustratingly shaking his head, Gartland added, “I just don’t know.”

The student could not be reached, but it’s of great relief to the class that Tom is spending all his thought in deciphering the meaning of the whale.

Another one of Gartland’s students commented, “Yeah, after seeing how stressed out he’s getting on a whale, I can’t imagine how he’ll react to the dozens of dicks I drew on mine.”

Much to his family’s dissappointment, Gartland will not attend their annual reunion at Sea World.


NOTE: This story was the winning entry in the campus Onion contest.

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