Wow, what a sad, strange day Thanksgiving turned out to be. First, readers had to endure the lack of a column from yours truly, and then poor Tiger Woods had a little incident with his car. Now the details are sketchy, but as of now we only know that Tiger crashed his car backing out of his driveway at 2:30 in the morning, which led to his wife smashing out the vehicle's window with a golf club to allegedly ""save"" him. Sounds a bit strange, so I decided to reflect on the topic in greater detail below:
It's really unlike Tiger to drive into the trees, if you catch my double meaning there. If this incident is any indication, Tiger really needs to work on his driving! Or maybe just get a new driver! Am I right? Aren't golfers supposed to drive straight and down the middle? I'm assuming this applies to driveways as well. And yes, I know he's a Tiger, but the man really needs to stay out of the ""Woods"" with his car. Early reports also state that Tiger hit a fire hydrant. Talk about a water hazard! I really question if Tiger's driving is up to ""par"" with the necessary requirements to have a driver's license. To be fair, I hear his driveway has a mean dogleg left.
It sounds like Tiger's car was totaled in the crash ... I wonder if he can still ""putter"" around in it. Guess he'll only be able to use it in short-yardage situations. The crash must've been really severe... Tiger's wife made a ""hole in one"" of the car windows in order to get him out! I guess the windows were already ""chipped"" in the crash, so it is a moot point. Maybe he'll be forced to get a new ""Caddie""-lac. I also wonder what Tiger's ""handicap"" will be after getting in the car crash...
What really makes the story odd are the rumors going around about Tiger having an affair while on tour in Australia. Maybe Tiger needs to be careful which holes his balls are rolling into. I think it may be too soon to speculate. I mean, maybe the girl was just helping Tiger re-grip his shaft. Or maybe they were just discussing Tiger's oversized club head. Anyways, I'm sure there is a logical explanation. There is no way Tiger would get caught in another woman's ""sand trap.""
One speculation is that Tiger's wife actually hit him before the accident. From the early description of his injuries, it sounded like she used too much ""club."" She should club down from that distance next time... Or maybe she should stop being so ""rough"" with him. Are they on the ""fringe"" of a break-up? I'm starting to think she just wants some of Tiger's ""green"" from a divorce settlement. One thing is certain: Tiger really needs to ""iron out"" his issues at home with his wife. Tiger cannot a-""fore""-d another controversy like this getting out to the public.
I'm still really confused as to why the police haven't pressed the Woods family further. It seems like the only ""fairway"" to do the investigation. Right now, Woods is saying it was just a driving error, but I think that is just a ""bad lie."" Right now, the ""links"" in his story do not match up. Maybe Tiger just had a ""stroke"" behind the wheel. Or maybe Tiger was going out on the town at 2:30 at night. After all, the guy loves to ""swing!"" Right now, all of this sidestepping does not fit Tiger to a ""tee"" at all.
Of ""course,"" none of us want to lose the beloved Tiger of before. Never could we believe he'd ever to anything ""out of bounds"" of what is accepted as honest behavior. Nor could we ever stand to see Tiger ""fade"" from the limelight. Here's to hoping we can all take a ""mulligan"" on this fluke event and move on. However, one fact still remains: Until Tiger can de-""bunker"" the rumor about his marriage being in danger, this incident will take a long time to leave the spotlight. Even the most ""divot""-ed fans may end up leaving Tiger's side.
Think Jon's article was ""puntastic""? Think Tiger is getting the ""shaft""? E-mail Jon at jspike@wisc.edu.
