In recent years, it has become a bedrock of American politics for government officials to shoot themselves in the metaphorical foot. Embezzle a little money here, make a racist or sexist comment there—standard operating procedure for today's busy politicians. In fact, it has become such a constant that I grow suspicious when a week passes without the rancid stench of scandal wafting from Washington. The question is: Will our generation live up to this sterling record of continuity?
Thankfully, a recent wave of inept student governments has quelled my fear that our generation will even attempt to restore integrity to our political landscape. If imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery, rest assured we've got a crack squad of incompetents lining up at the gates of power to kiss some feet.
First it was last week's announcement that UW-Milwaukee would freeze its student government amidst allegations of embezzlement of $10,000 by student officials. Not only is it hilarious to think that you could steal 10 grand and get away with it, but I'll bet they foiled a raging kegger in the works.
Then it was newly-elected Penn State student body President Jay Bundy, who upon nomination declared, ""If the students are stupid enough to vote for someone so inappropriate and retarded as I am, then they deserve a president who is going to give the worst performance to the best of his ability,"" adding that his presidency will be a ""fucking shitshow.""
I, for one, applaud his refreshing candor—it's more than can be said of our own student government. It's quickly becoming apparent that the people running Associated Students of Madison are quite inept themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure ASM leaders think of themselves as the ""leaders of tomorrow"" sort of college students, the responsible ones who care enough to play an active part in their student government. The truth is, these are the types of people who wouldn't pet a dog if they didn't think they could put it on their rAcsumAc under ""volunteer experience.""
After a crashed server rendered last year's student elections invalid, ASM leaders decided the best way to ensure a quick and accurate election was through the use of scantron machines.
Unfortunately for them, they neglected to realize that the system of multiple votes made the machines worthless, and they had to count all the votes by hand.
Leave it to a bunch of resume-padding political science majors to bungle scantrons.
Needless to say, to the extent the people running the show at ASM actually represent UW-Madison students (which thankfully, is minimal), these results don't bode well for our future.
Yet for some insane reason, I continue voting in their ill-conceived, oft-fraudulent elections where the choice is between hand-shaker A and patronizer B. No wonder only 6.6 percent of the student body even bothers. For comparison, that is roughly the size of section O at Camp Randall. If they insist on pulling a 2000 Florida every time they hold an election, I'd rather not take part in their shitshow at all.
