I eat a lot... I mean a lot. On a typical day, I usually take in the recommended amount of a 300 pound pro wrestler. Food is never far from me, and if it is, I change that. Whether in the fridge, in my backpack or in my mouth, it's nearby.
Food is just one of those amazing parts of life we humans not only need, but are fortunate enough to enjoy. Some people eat to live, but I sure as hell live to eat. Others may consider that gluttony—I call it keeping myself ""well fueled.""
My passionate appetite not only keeps my stomach occupied, but my mind as well. When going out to eat or grocery shopping, I always notice what others around me are eating. Years of observation have led me to a theory I call ""Food as People.""
Basically, certain foods represent their eaters and indicate what type of personality one has. It's not so much what food an individual eats but what kind of food they eat.
For example, everyone likes ice cream because, in short, it's a gift from the heavens. But the chosen flavor is what holds significance. Vanilla, chocolate or strawberry means you look for structure and stability; playing it safe always seems best. If you go for mint chocolate chip and butter pecan, you like the unexpected and notice the good things in life that are often overlooked.
And if you prefer sherbet to ice cream, well, then I have nothing to say to you. Being lactose intolerant is no excuse. Last year, I discovered my digestive system was quite uncooperative when after eating, I would wind up on the floor groaning from my dessert. But the cravings still called my name, and you're darn right I answered. Nothing can spoil ice cream, so if you think otherwise, it's not your stomach that's weak—it's you.
As for pizza, I'll speak in the language of a man we're all familiar with—Ian. If you're munching on a guacamole burrito late at night, you can't commit because you want it all. This way, you can have your pizza and eat it too. But the grilled veggie folks are different—they want to justify their drunk munchies with healthy produce on top. But don't worry about it; Ian's isn't popular for its high levels of protein.
Lastly the ultimate college cuisine that personifies its consumer oh so well is cereal. Wheaties—jock. Quaker Oats & Honey—hippie. Trix— somewhat-pathetic, middle-aged man unsatisfied with his career and obsessed with reliving his ""happy days,"" circa fourth grade. Just kidding, Trix are excellent; someone like that is more of a Cocoa Puffs person. Clearly these cases are oversimplified but you get my drift.
My personal favorite is Lucky Charms. What that says about me, I'm not sure. Maybe it means I'm a well-rounded person with qualities as different as sugary marshmallows and traditional wheat. Maybe it means luck and good fortune will play a significant role in my future in ways I can only imagine. Or perhaps it's just that I enjoy watching my cereal milk turn a purplish green while compulsively counting how many rainbow marshmallows I have left. Perhaps.
There's the expression ""you are what you eat."" Therefore eat what you find rich, sweet and satisfying, and avoid the tastefully bland and predictable. Do you want to be that lonely piece of leftover cauliflower on the veggie platter? No, I didn't think so.
