So, all you green college rookies, how are you holding up after a week of dorm life? Are the shared bathrooms, sketchy-looking food and creepy roommates freaking you out? As someone who spent two years in dorms and lived to tell the tale, perhaps I can offer you some insider tips.
Was there any doubt that drinking would be No. 1 on the list? UW-Madison's reputation for partying hard is well deserved. But don't forget that there is plenty of fun to be had here without booze, and you are not boring or uncool if you choose not to drink.
If you do choose to partake, enjoy your illicit beverages with plenty of water to avoid hangovers and friends around to tell you when you have had enough. If you are a loud and obnoxious drunk, that goody-two-shoes on your floor is absolutely justified in reporting you.
House fellows were all naA_ve freshmen once, and they know what it is like to be in your shoes. They are valuable resources who want to be your friend and can help you with any problems. But they also have to do their jobs, so don't do something that will force them to discipline you because it is unpleasant for both of you.
Also, watch out for occasional power-trip house fellows—people who excessively enjoy being in a position where others have to do what they say. Pranks on these house fellows can be classic, but do not get caught. It's probably better just to stay away from them.
Unless you are sleeping or studying, simply leaving your door open can lead to future good friends wandering in. If your floor isn't so great, research some clubs with themes that interest you. There are over 40,000 people on this campus, and chances are 100 percent that you will find someone who is interested in the same things you are. It's just a matter of finding them, so take the initiative and get out there.
UW-Madison is blessed with so much information on sex education that not practicing safe sex is just idiotic. For that matter, so is paying for condoms, as freebies are everywhere.
Everything you have heard about Halloween is true. However, in lieu of smashing windows on State Street and having to be tear-gassed, I suggest you attend the midnight showing of ""The Rocky Horror Picture Show,"" a musical about a group of transvestite aliens from transsexual Transylvania.
If you are an apathetic, apolitical type, you have come to the wrong school. This is an election year, and whether you realize it or not, politics affects your life and your tuition. Get to know the issues that matter to you, and vote. If you do not vote, you are not entitled to bitch about tuition.
Unlike high school, you may not have daily or even weekly homework. Don't let that fool you into slacking off. College requires much more reading and independent initiative, and fewer assignments count for a larger percentage of your grade. Discipline yourself to study daily from the beginning. Pulling an all-nighter to cram before a test is legendary, but actually not that pleasant.
Sick of dorm food already? I feel your pain. The Madison Farmers Market and Willy Street Co-op have excellent selections of fresh food, and places like State Street Brats and the Nitty Gritty are nice treats. It is possible to survive (barely) on dorm food for a year, but beware of Juston Stix. They are your freshman fifteen in a box.
Madison is deservedly known as the City of the Perpetually Offended. Excessive PC-ness aside, ignorant jokes or insults based on someone's race, religion or sexual orientation will not be tolerated. On the other hand, jokes and put-downs of fraternities, sororities,and the student government are enthusiastically encouraged.
Now close the paper and pay attention to your lecture!
