I remember once lying awake at some ungodly hour in high school, unable to sleep and listening to sports talk-radio. With class at 8:15 the next morning—something that will never happen again thank God—the time-range with which I had to work with grew slimmer by the minute. But if I had gone to sleep, if I had rested my eyes, if I had dozed off for even five minutes, I would have missed one of the callers call in and suggest that the Yankees trade for then Mets' outfielder Timo Perez and play him at third base to replace the slick-fielding Scott Brosius.
And while the throw from third-base might be difficult for (a) a left hander to make and (b) a guy who has never played third base before, the callers heart was in the right place.
Working at an ESPN sports-talk radio station last summer as an intern, I got the task of screening callers going on the air. Pursuing the job, excitedly at first, I let way too many callers on. But then I realized, I was St. Peter to these guys. I controlled their path to enlightenment. If I could let them loose on the air-waves, then their wildest dream could come true.
Some conversations went like this:
Caller: Yeah, I want to talk about Chow Fun Mang.
Me: Excuse me?
Caller: You know, the Yankee pitcher.
Me: Chien-Ming Wang?
Caller: Yeah, whatever Wing Ding Ting. Put me on the air and let me talk about him.
Me: Sir, I can't do that if you are going to pronounce his name like that.
Caller: Who do you think you are? Put me on the radio. I want to- [click].
Then there were the callers who thought they were buddy-buddy with the hosts:
Caller: Hey, put me on the air.
Me: What do you want to talk about?
Caller: Whatever, man. Me and Michael, we're boys. We'll think of something.
Me: So, you don't know what you want to talk about?
Caller: Like I told you man, we'll talk about anything. The weather, sports, news. Whatever man, just put me on.
Me: Call back when you have something specific to talk about.
[Calls back real soon]
Caller: I want to talk about the weather [click]
On the flip side, some callers are the exact opposite.
Caller: (in the sterotypical New Yorker accent) Put me on. This guy's a moron!
Me: I can't do that.
Caller: Then do me a favor. Get a pen and paper and write this down. Ready?
Me: Ready (not actually ready).
Caller: OK. Write this down: You are a moron.\ Then go into that room there and give it to him.
Me: Sure thing.
Caller: Thanks man, you rule.
So, there are some crazies calling, but for the most part you get people who are passionate, people who care and people who want for their teams to win in the worst way possible. But that's what we have here in Badger country too. Check out a Wisconsin sports message board and you'll see the same thing: pure zeal, absolute enthusiasm. The suggestions might be a little unconventional, but the intents are righteous.
And while the summer approaches, and the NFL draft is in our rear view mirror, most Wisconsin fans still have that passion. They'll be wondering how Bielma will respond to being the center of attention on the fall, how Alando and Kammron will fair in their final go-around in the spring and if Eaves can go back to back without Robbie Earl by his side.
With that being said, I've been proud to grace the Thursday page of The Daily Cardinal with my words and terrible mug shot (dirty baseball and all) for the last two semesters, and I hope to see you all next year.
Sam Pepper is a junior majoring in political science. Feel free to reach him with comments or questions at sepepper@wisc.edu.
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