It's been a comeback decade for God. Having spent most of recent history resting on his laurels, the 21st century appears to be a 'hands on' project for the Almighty. On three distinct occasions, he took it unto himself to smite those who have angered him. Keep on your toes and say your prayers before bed, 'cause unless you die before you wake he might just give you leprosy.
Jan. 16, 2006
Amidst a Martin Luther King Jr. Day celebration, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin explained that due to the United States' involvement in Iraq and black America's poor care for its women and children, God sent 'hurricane after hurricane after hurricane' as punishment. In God's defense, this only came after his glorioius instant messages to DontMessWithTEX46 went unanswered.
Jan. 5, 2006
A day after Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a severe stroke, Pat Robertson implied that it was God's reprimand for removing Israelis from Gaza and the West Bank. Some might fault Sharon's sedentary lifestyle, poor diet, previous stroke in December '05 and the build up of arterial fatty deposits as the cause ... but they'd be wrong.
Sept. 13, 2001
With a nation reeling, Rev. Jerry Falwell explained during an airing of The 700 Club that pagans, feminists, gays and lesbians, and the ACLU, among others, 'helped this happen,' and that God was mad. It was reported that shortly after the show's airing 47 kittens spontaneously exploded and blood flowed forth from finger paintings in a kindergarten in Texas.
Note: The public figures associated with the above statements retracted their controversial comments following public outcry. Also, feel free to insert she for he and such when describing God. Your call.
