OK, we know you know which bars in Madison are best for certain special occasions. If it's a birthday, you're heading to The Nitty Gritty. Huge Badger game? State Street Brats. Desperate to smoke a hookah? The Casbah is calling your name. But where do you go when you just wanna go?
Allow the Cardinal to shamelessly generalize. Whether you gravitate toward sultry, jazz-infused gin joints, beer served in boots or just large quantities of exposed flesh, Madison's got a bar type that'll fit the bill.
The Cardinal lets you categorize your bar type in just four easy steps:
Take our quiz (with a grain of salt) to discover which bar type best matches your personality.
Take a look at all the Madison watering holes that cater to discerning drinkers like you.
Read the spotlight on one bar type matching your results; think about going there.
Bottoms up.
1. You would elbow your way through the crowd to talk to a guy/girl who:
a) has a flipped-up collar/short
flouncy skirt, respectively
b) has funky glasses and a vague
aura signifying 'grad student'
c) is damn good at foosball
d) came with your group of
friends... hell, he's your room-
mate
e) is chatting it up with the bar-
tender, who looks old enough
to be your grandpa
f) you catch flashing a $100 bill
at the bartender
2. The best bar music is:
a) 50 Cent
b) jazz and alternative
c) the Monday Night Football
jingle
d) anything from the jukebox
e) Johnny Cash
f) live and local
3. You think a martini is:
a) best when flavored like sour apple, watermelon or another Jolly Rancher flavor
b) even hipper than Pabst
c) starting goalie for AC Milan
d) not a fishbowl and thus irrelevant
e) five dollars too expensive
f) one-third of a balanced lunch
4. Your fake ID:
a) gets handed down from girl to girl in your house
b) is in your little brother's hands since you turned 21
c) is issued to Dan Marino
d) is peeling apart from all the bacon grease
e) is printed on cardboard
e) cost more than your shoes
5. The worst thing to happen at a bar is:
a) police raid the place
b) the long walk back to campus
c) Vikings fan wanders in on a Sunday
d) you trip down the staircase
e) that same guy plugs \Hot for Teacher"" every night
e) the bartender serves scotch with rocks
6. Your idea of entertainment at a bar is:
a) getting in sorority rumbles (or watching them ... rowwwwr)
b) arguing with a stranger about your theory of Milton's valorization of the devil in Paradise Lost
c) stop asking questions; you're watching the big screen
d) sharing a pitcher at a booth, maybe a good round of asshole
e) yelling at the broke-down jukebox for stiffing you again
f) getting the guy in the three-piece suit buy you a martini ... or several
7. You're willing to wait ___ to get into your bar of choice.
a) half an hour, as long as you can be on your cell phone the whole time
b) why bother-you'll head to a coffee shop
c) on game days, as long as it takes
d) a few minutes, if it's not frigid out
e) as long as you need to; your trusty flask will keep you warm
f) no need to wait; you'll pay the bouncer in triple digits if he lets you in ahead of everyone else
8. The atmosphere at your favorite watering hole resembles that of:
a) a meat market
b) a jazz club
c) Sports Center
d) a poker game
e) a basement
f) a cocktail party
9. You like your drinks served in:
a) a flirtatious manner by a spiky-haired (or short-skirted) bartender
b) highball glasses, nothing too fancy
c) pitchers ... lots of pitchers
d) boots, bowls and everything in between
e) 5:1 ratio of alcohol to mixers
f) anything long-stemmed
