\Forrest Gump"" is a good film. ""The Godfather"" is a great film. ""It's A Wonderful Life"" is a life-affirming film. But to Badgers-past, present and future-the most important film ever made is ""Back To School.""
For the uninitiated, 1986's ""Back To School"" stars comedian Rodney Dangerfield as Thornton Mellon, an ultra-successful businessman. As a multi-millionaire, Mellon virtually has it all-houses, cars, anything and everything money can buy. But when Thornton takes a vacation to Grand Lakes University to visit his discouraged son Jason, he determines that his best course of action is to join Jason and enroll at Grand Lakes, becoming ""the world's oldest living freshman."" Hilarity ensues.
If you are enrolled at UW-Madison and have never seen this movie, you should be tremendously ashamed of yourself. Why? Because ""Back To School"" was the first feature-length comedy to gross more than $100 million? Because Rodney Dangerfield is a comic-genius, and his witty one-liners are indispensable at parties and other social functions? Yes and yes. But the most crucial reason to view this movie, over and over again, is because it was filmed right here at UW-Madison.
In ""Back To School,"" Dangerfield's character finds himself absolutely entranced by the beauty of his son's college campus, the fictional Grand Lakes University. The crisp, clean, autumnal atmosphere arrestingly contrasts with the bustling studentry of a new semester to produce to the movie audience what we simply refer to as ""COLLEGE.""
Liz Waters, the Humanities bridge above Park Street, Schlicter, Van Hise, The University Book Store, Memorial Union, the Red Gym and, of course, Bascom hill, the epitome of American university, are all familiar sites featured prominently throughout the film, lending a perfect backdrop for the fantastic interactions and comical intricacies of the movie.
A few months ago, I was doing some arm-chair Internet detective work on a flick I was watching on the WE Network (don't ask, and I won't tell). I, of course, went to the handiest site on the 'net, The Internet Movie Database, and eventually came across ""Back To School."" You can imagine my horror when I saw a ""2006"" instead of a ""1986"" following the title.
Yep, folks, that's right: MGM has decided to cast none other than Cedric the Entertainer in a ""cool, new, urban, hip"" remake and ruin yet another beloved film.
I won't even attempt to compare the brilliance of Rodney Dangerfield to whatever it is Cedric the Entertainer occupies his ""acting prowess"" with, for there is no comparison. But what I am most enraged about is that ""Back to School 2k6: Straight from tha Streets"" (or whatever moronic name they'll give it) won't be filmed at UW-Madison. Sure, there might be campuses that are more attractive or easier to film at than ours, but no campus has the pure soul ours does.
So if you haven't already, you must see ""Back To School"" immediately-ditch class, stand up tonight's date, leave your homework in the trash-I don't care what you have going on, just do it now!
There are many things that make Badgers different from one another, but ""Back To School"" will always be ours, together.
There is a scene in the film when Dangerfield and his driver, Lou, are discussing some Greek letters on a sorority house. Lou asks if Dangerfield knows any Greek.
""The only Greek I know,"" Dangerfield replies, ""owns a coffee shop on State Street.""
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