In the depths of January, there's little for a film columnist like myself to do other than wait. I suppose I could weigh in on the head-to-head box-office melee between \That 70's Show"" stars Topher Grace and Ashton ""My 15 minutes are up"" Kutcher. Thing is, I don't think any of you need me to tell you that ""Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!"" and ""The Butterfly Effect"" are probably sub-par movies. And, to be honest, I'm still getting over a cold so I don't feel like inflicting more pain on myself than necessary.
Instead, I'm going to indulge myself with a plea to Warner Brothers about a project near and dear to my heart.
For the love of all that is good and pure, get your act together and do a new ""Superman"" movie.
And do it right.
Plenty of people have all but dismissed the long-delayed Superman film, and rightly so. The film has been mired in development for years. In that time, rival superhero franchises have sprung up with remarkable speed and surprising quality. Why give Clark Kent a second thought when you've got Spider-Man and Wolverine? Not to mention the legions of filmgoers that are only moments away from kicking over a superhero backlash. The market is oversaturated and, after disappointments like ""Daredevil"" and ""The Hulk,"" audiences are already deluged by trailers for ""Spider-Man 2"" and ""The Punisher.""
Setting aside all that, there's Warner Brothers' other big comic book property, ""Batman: Intimidation."" That film, slated to come out in summer 2005, will be overflowing with talent from director Christopher Nolan to stars Christian Bale, Michael Caine and Cilian Murphy. It's being taken seriously, which is less than I can say for the guy with the big red cape.
The script, continually rewritten by J.J. Abrams, has been blasted since its plot was reviewed on ""Ain't It Cool News"" nearly a year and a half ago. While it may have undergone massive rewrites, one thing is for sure- Abrams has the capability to write a great Superman film, but more likely will deliver the most frustrating superhero flick to date.
The current rumored director, McG, gave us the ""Charlie's Angels"" films. I just don't know if I could forgive him if he turns Superman into a two-hour music video. He's more flash than substance, and a character as simple as Clark Kent needs a director to put a heart behind him. McG will have to create it and nurture it to avoid turning Supes into a cartoon hero. I get the feeling he'd rather just make things look cool at Super-speed.
Most distressing is the fact that a script has been drafted for more than 16 months and Warner Brothers has continually failed to cast anyone for Clark Kent and Lois Lane. A handful of actors have been considered, rumored and then denied. The current front-runners seem to be Selma Blair and Ashton Kutcher, but neither is even close to a signed deal.?? How in the hell did this happen? Could this film's pre-production be considered anything less than an embarrassment?
I've only truly been fascinated by one superhero in my entire life. I've never read a Superman comic book, but the story has so permeated American culture that I somehow learned it via osmosis. It's one of the few stories about good and evil that, if handled correctly, doesn't come off as shallow and cheesy. It's about a guy saving the world but struggling to get the girl.?? It's a story that teaches, to borrow from another superhero, that ""with great power comes great responsibility.""
Don't screw it up.
wwtemby@wisc.edu.
