Because I am bestowed the honor of writing the last column before Thanksgiving break, I feel that it is my duty, my obligation, to provide you with an article inspired by the most delicious of holidays. Plus, writing about secular holidays is really, really easy-I'm already two for two on the year!
Yet columns that give thanks for a bunch of stuff are a dime-a-dozen this time of year, and about as frequent as a child-molestation allegation against Michael Jackson. Yeah, that was way too easy, if not a bit insensitive. I apologize, Jacko! Innocent until proven guilty, or at least until you settle out of court.
So instead of boring you with the same old \I'm thankful for this, I'm thankful for that"" routine, I'm going to bore you with a twist on that trite custom. So with a little creativity I've figured it out-The Pete Long Thanksgiving Countdown! Sit back, tune out your professor and enjoy!
8. Beds and pillows. That may sound a little out there, but if you give it some serious thought, are there many things you take for granted more than your bed and pillows? I sleep in a twin bed with a dingy mattress and no box-spring, but look at it this way: It never gets mad at me, never tells me I'm not good enough to sleep with it and is always there for me, no matter how intoxicated or foul-smelling I get.
7. Mayonnaise. I've noticed that a lot of comedians use a love for mayonnaise as a means to point out the comical foibles of ""white people."" I don't see what's so funny. Mayo is awesome, plain and simple. Have you tried it with bread?
6. Fast food. I feel bad for people who distance themselves from fast food, because it's ""unhealthy"" or ""unsanitary"" or whatever. Lighten up. Sure, it's not healthy to eat it all the time, but besides a cold brew, I don't think there's anything better than a sub sandwich or a triple cheeseburger after a long day.
5. My 1986 Honda Spree. Ah yes, the CrimeSpree-17 years, 3,145 miles and still going strong. My steed of red gets me where I need to go, and no 49-cc, fat-tire, ""almost-motorcycle"" will ever take its place. Ever.
4. Classic Rock. Van Halen. The Who. Queen. Journey. Def Leppard. Rush. M??tley Cr??e. Guns N' Roses. The Cars. Supertramp. Styx. Cheap Trick. The Eagles. The Beatles. Billy Joel. Ozzy. Zeppelin. I could go on, but I've already made my point(s).
3. College and UW. Current students: how lucky are we? I mean, here we are at UW-Madison, studying, learning, partying and living like nowhere else in the nation. I sincerely feel bad for everyone who is not here right now, no matter who they are or what they're doing, they're missing out. Whether a freshman or a senior, if you're not having the time of your life, it's time to look in the mirror and reassess. Don't waste these four-to-eight years of your life-you'll never get them back.
2. Family and Friends. I'd be nothing without my loving family and caring friends. I am forever grateful for these people that make my life meaningful, enjoyable and worthwhile. All our lives get hectic, and sometimes we let the insignificant get in the way of those who really matter. Put down the books, turn off the tube, and let them know how much you care!
1. Life. 'Nuff said.
Happy Thanksgiving!
writePNL@yahoo.com.
