I skipped my morning class so that for just one hour I could have the house to myself. I skipped it, and then sat alone for 30 minutes listening to the sound the refrigerator makes when no one is home. It's a sound I'd forgotten about'it's a hum.
So the refrigerator hummed, and I ate breakfast and was happy not to be in class. I read the papers, and the hum went on, and for a moment I thought about my roommates sitting in their lectures and discussion sections.
My roommates had all quickly passed through the kitchen only minutes before me, but none of them had heard the refrigerator. They'd just heard each other, and I'd heard them too.
They had the same conversations they have every morning, and eventually someone had said, \It doesn't look like Andy's going to be making it to class today,"" and in my bed I smiled and thought, ""No, I'm not.""
From under my blankets I thought, ""I've been to enough classes,"" and I probably have. I've taken 114 credits, and each one seems to be twice as much work as the previous, and each one seems three times more pointless.
It's all just jumping through hoops, and by now I'm trying to just barely clear on my final few jumps.
I'm sure I'd try a little harder if I thought I might learn something as a result, but I've reached the point where I think I might get more out of not going to class than actually going.
I got a lot out of listening to the refrigerator and I got a lot out of having the house to myself.
In fact, my hour at home was probably more educational than any hour of class I've had this semester. It offered a time for reflection, and no class offers that.
Class is just tell, tell, tell, and if you have time, you can think about it afterwards, but who has time? It's just learn something, and then forget it later. Or sometimes it's learn nothing, and then go to discussion section and fake that you did.
Personally, I think discussion sections should be replaced with one-hour reflective periods that offer maybe 15 minutes for discussion at the end. If people really cared to discuss anything, they could do it outside of class after having some good reflection time.
Instead we all go to discussion sections where most people don't really know anything and everyone is faking it. And it's not even a discussion, but rather a series of short speeches from kids who only skimmed over the readings.
I rarely speak up in discussion because I generally feel I have nothing to say. I'd rather just sit and think to myself about class or the readings, but that doesn't happen, because every section has two or three super bullshitters, who selfishly interrupt my personal reflection so that they might impress some TA.
But there's no TA to impress at home; there's just the refrigerator and the newspaper, and also the clock, and you've got to watch that like you watch the clock in class. You've got to watch it to know how much time you have left, and time flies when you're learning and listening.
andrewmiller@students.wisc.edu
