First off, I'd like to preface this article by kindly pointing out that my residents are full of it. You know how your friends can be'they take one little thing you do and they blow it up to epic proportions until they're convinced that it's bigger than it really is. So let me state for the record, I AM NOT addicted to Dr. Mario. That's just ridiculous.
First of all, \addicted"" is such a HARSH word. I mean, to say I'm addicted would insinuate that I'm hooked on playing Dr. Mario, like I need to do it or something, and that's just ridicu'
Can you excuse me for a minute?
Okay, I'm back. Sorry about that. All this talk about Dr. Mario just gave me an urge to play a quick game. Man, there's nothing like watching those viruses squirm when you clear one out. I think the yellow virus is my favorite. He really looks like the leader of the group. Red's okay; he's probably my second favorite. Blue is the jerk virus though'I mean, just look at the guy.
What? You haven't noticed this? C'mon, it's pretty obvious. Here, I'll go double-check it for you, just to be sure, okay?
Honestly, I don't know how you can't see it. But seriously, I've got a Web site address I can give you that has like three or four papers written on the subject. There's also this great section on the site with stories written about Dr. Mario and the virus by other people who play this great, amazing, life-changing, unbelievable game.
But just because I read stories about the characters of the game doesn't mean I'm an addict, okay? It's not like I have Dr. Mario bed sheets, all right? And the pillowcase was a gift from this guy I met on a Dr. Mario chat room, so you can't really count that against me, either.
And the poster? Well, I found a picture of the cover on-line and then I just resized it with my Photoshop program and printed it out. But then I thought it looked kind of cheesy, so I used it as a model to paint the poster I have up now. It was only about, I don't know, 30 hours of work? So it's not like you could call that ""obsessive"" or ""addicted"" or any'
Hold up a sec. Do you hear that? Ba-da-daadah-dump. Ba-da-daa-dah-dump. Ba-da-da-dada-da-da-daa-dump-dump-dump. Someone's playing! Excuse me just a second.
WHAT? Oh, it's you guys again. One more game, okay? Just give me a minute.
I said just give me a minute. Man, you guys are as pushy as my residents. Matt, I need this. Matt, can you do that? Matt, I think that's the fire alarm going off, shouldn't we get out of the building? Matt, it's six in the morning, will you please turn off the game so we can go to sleep?
Oh, man! See what you did? Tony, that no good son of a [censor] just swept me three straight rounds because I was talking to you! I must be slipping'I'd better go practice. Why don't you guys go check out the crossword puzzle or that wacky Low Key comic? Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, OUT! There, happy? Now scram. And remember, not an addict, just an enthusiast.
What's that you say, Dr. Mario? No, I hear you. I'm coming right now'
OUT!
