Even though my job requires at least minimal knowledge of sports, I'm not much of an athlete myself.
I don't exactly consider myself a threat out on the baseball diamond, the football field or even the basketball court.
But when that baseball diamond, football field or basketball court appears in video-game form, I turn into a regular decathlete.
I hit home runs, return interceptions for touchdowns and perform death-defying 360-degree slam-dunks all with the click of a button the slightest movement of the joystick.
What athletic talent I may lack in real life apparently does not translate into the video-game world.
I guess all this started when I was just a young lad. My brother and I would play Nintendo games for hours upon hours.
As I played these games, I slowly developed my reflexes and hand-eye coordination, not to mention calluses on my thumbs from the plague all gamers suffer'the dreaded 'Nintendo thumb.'
As the years wore on, I opened my Nintendo repertoire to more sports games, ranging from RBI Baseball to RBI Baseball 2 to RBI Baseball 3.
Once the Super Nintendo came along, I was in heaven.
There were sports games galore, and the graphics were a welcome departure from the grainy, distorted figures of the original Nintendo. Several years down the line, the N64 came along, ushering in a whole new world of graphics bliss and improved game play for the unsuspecting video game-aholics out there.
Now, many of you may be asking yourselves, 'He couldn't possibly have played video games for the past 15 years of his life? I mean, really, nobody can be that lame.'
'What did he do in high school? Why hasn't he talked about the throngs of beautiful video-game groupies that follow him around and worship his every move'?
Well, I played a little competitive basketball and football in the later stages of my elementary school career, but I never really stuck with any school-sponsored sports in middle school or high school.
I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'd rather watch sports than I would play them. Also, the fact that I have little to no athletic ability didn't really help matters.
As far as the groupies are concerned, I may have over-exaggerated matters a little bit. They only worship every other move I make.
Anyway, as new sports video game technology emerges, you readers can rest assured that I will be on top of things as always.
In fact, at this moment I'm emotionally invested in a game of World Series Baseball 2K2 for Sega Dreamcast.
My roommates and I are in the middle of a pennant race and every game counts. It's pretty exciting.
Geez, no wonder I don't have a girlfriend.
