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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Thursday, April 25, 2024

TindIRL app available just in time for Valentine’s Day

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Do you have a hard time matching with people on Tinder? Has your mother told you she’s worried she’ll never have grandchildren? Well, worry no more, because the good folks at Tinder have come up with a new way to meet the love of your life. With the new TindIRL app you can now meet potential online partners, in person!

With the introduction of this new app comes the partnership of Tinder with Facebook and Google Glass. Similarly to the classic Tinder, you log into the app and verify your existence as a human being by using Facebook. If you do not have a Facebook you can currently not use the app. On launch the app is not compatible with the relic known as Google Plus. However, the good folks at Tinder have informed us that they are working on a way for you to communicate with others without the use of Facebook. Something about making noises with your mouth and vocalizing your thoughts. I can’t wait to find out what that is!

After you log into the app you’re almost ready to go! This is where the partnership between Tinder and Google comes in. That Google Glass you bought because you’re a hipster finally has some use. Just throw those babies on, walk out the door and you’re ready to use the app. When you see someone who has a Tinder or TindIRL account the app will project a retina display to the Google Glass. In order to “like” someone wink with your right eye, to “dislike” someone wink with your left eye and to “Super Like” someone wink with both of your eyes.

After you match with someone, it’s back to what you’d normally do on Tinder. Just walk up to your prospective partner and use that opener that you would have tried out if you ever got a match! A name pun is always a good place to start. However, if you’re not sure what to say, you can try one of the many opening lines that the app will suggest to you. Opening lines such as: “What’s the difference between me and my couch?” “Do you eat ass?” or the classic “Ey bby, wnt sum fuk?” With lines such as these you’re practically guaranteed to make a great first impression with the potential love of your life!

Keep your eye out for this new app that lets you meet online people, in real life! It launches on the App Store and the Google Play Store Jan. 30!

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