almanac

Heroic Wisconsinite kills animal with firearm

In commendable and exciting fashion, Wisconsinite Ryan Burrows, 24, took the life of a wild deer using a high-powered rifle Tuesday.
Burrows’ masculinity was on full display as he managed to discharge a 30-caliber round into the chest of the deer from about 40 feet away, knocking the animal over prior to its death seconds after.
“Look at this big boy,” Burrows said, describing his victim triumphantly to Cardinal reporters. “I got him in one shot.”
Burrows had been taking part in an act of heroism known as hunting, in which humans combine skill, bravery and lethal technology to slay wild animals solely for enjoyment. Though the operation was dangerous and required courage, Burrows refused to let fear consume him.
“I wasn’t scared at all,” he said. “I saw the buck there, tried to remain calm and blew him away. Man, that was a hell of a shot.”
The killing process—which Burrows executed to perfection—required him to initially aim his gun toward the deer and then pull the trigger, initiating a quick chain reaction that led to the expulsion of a metal projectile travelling at over 1,000 mph on its way to piercing several of the animal’s vital organs. “If I missed, he probably would have scurried away before I could get the next round off,” Burrows explained.
At press time, it remains undetermined whether or not the deer was able to see Burrows, who was wearing camouflage patterned clothing.

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