The Parliament of Great Britain voted, in a sudden measure Sept. 26, to leave the European continent. This measure follows the sovereign nation’s departure from the European Union, which was decided by popular vote in a referendum on June 23 of this year.
The measure passed the House of Commons Thursday, is entering higher review via the House of Lords in two months. “Being part of the European continent has its drawbacks,” Parliamentary MP Peter Trowell said in an interview. “Seeing that we are situated on an island, I don’t see any practical objections to withdrawing from the continent entirely.”
Trowell has spearheaded the initiative from the start, and was the first to pitch the idea to the House of Commons. “Being in Europe has its nuances,” Trowell said, “most of which are associative. We want to distance ourselves from Europe, and all of the implications of membership in it.”
“Consider it a rebranding,” he added. “Tourists want to go to Europe, and they make Britain a ‘stop on the way.’ We have to show them that Britain is different. Britain is better.”
Prominent figures worldwide have voiced their objections to the measure, criticizing its implications on foreign alliances and future trade. “This is outrageous,” German Chancellor Angela Merkel said Friday in a press conference. “What a load of shit.”
“This has repercussions beyond just England’s opinion of itself,” said Roger Marlow, professor emeritus of cartography at the University of Oxford. “Regardless of whether Great Britain chooses to be affiliated with Europe or not, every geographical volume on publication cites Britain as being within the European continent. To change this would require a complete overhaul of maps across the world.”
The change would require an update of geography syllabi in Europe, North America, and across the world. Statistical figures have placed the total cost of the change at around £642 billion.
“It is a significant risk,” Marlow added. “I don’t know if it’s a cost we can manage.”
Parliamentary committees have been allocated to weighing the costs and drawbacks of either remaining with Europe or forming a new British continent. “Great Britain may indeed one day be its own continent,” Trowell said. “Or it may be unaffiliated. But that’s up to the Queen.”
At press time, Britain was still undecided.
