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Saturday, July 31, 2021

Owen Shao


ALMANAC

“Heroic students save dog from hot car during Mifflin”

Anticipation for the annual Mifflin St. Block Party has subsided in Madison, Wis. Thousands of crushed cans and shattered glass were all that remained Sunday morning as the students in attendance reeled from their collective “post weekend denial.” Public concerns regarding student safety and COVID-19 precautions are being raised in response to the large congregation of maskless children. However, these questions appeared insignificant and misguided in light of the heroic act that took place Saturday.

ALMANAC

UW-Madison students projected to fail in-person classes next fall

The unprecedented shift towards remote leaning during the past year has called many academic practices into question. When considering the rigor of collegiate level education during previous years, the fact that a student is now able to take a shit while in discussion should serve as an indicator that educational standards have somewhat devolved. Now that the reality of in person classes is quickly approaching, experts are greatly concerned for the future academic output of the UW-Madison student body. 

ALMANAC

UW-Madison sees annual spike in 'post weekend denial'

As the weather becomes more pleasant and COVID-19 vaccinations continue to rollout, a surge in weekend festivities can be seen throughout Madison, Wisconsin. Naturally, these festivities include heavy substance abuse in true Wisconsin-fashion. This annual springtime trend can be seen in places such as the “Mifflin Slums,” where the melting snow is steadily replaced with debris from white plastic tables and crushed Natty Ice cans. 

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