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Friday, January 16, 2026

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The major way to figure people out

I've made a discovery. If there's one way to find out what another student's major is, it's to casually mention, ""Gee, I'm not feeling too good, I think I'm coming down with something [cough, cough]."" Wait f'


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NEWS

Jay tells a Storey

I'm a firm believer that alcohol bestows superpowers on the average Joes of the collegiate world, creating multilingual geniuses and speed walking demons. Me, I become a wily food thief capable of cunning schemes.'


Daily Cardinal
NEWS

Fixing crime lab backlog will prove costly

As evidence in unsolved criminal cases piles up at the state crime lab, officials said in a Thursday report they want to increase the lab's efficiency with more resources. However, some warn that more staff means more money and may entail a financia'


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NEWS

Cops string health club robberies

Madison health club goers routinely lock up their valuables and head for the cardio room, but a recent string of locker room thefts across southern Wisconsin has raised the heart rates of even the most physically fit.'



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