"I’d ream her so bad she’d be sent to a layer of Hell that Satan himself hasn’t visited since the eighties,” said the grandmother of nine.
The turtle claims to be at peace with death, “wants out.”
The controversial new ad has drawn massive public attention.
Though Father Richard has remained sober, some churchgoers worry that the switch is sacrilegious.
The human bucket of loose egg is reportedly afraid of not having “a thing.”
“Son, Don’t forget to have some fun. You won’t get on these buses forever, please remember.”
Tuesday’s special session on abortion lasted 15 seconds because of the extra 10 seconds it took state senators to congregate by the calendar and rip to the next photo.
Crawl spaces aren’t just for critters!
Demands for his next coaching gig reportedly include an extra room “to make a lollipop museum.”
“It was an accident!”
“He gave us no other option.”
Wisconsin Badger fans still have Big Ten championship hopes despite Ohio State Buckeyes literally f—ing destroying Wisconsin.
Sarasota native Doug Ebert expects to make a miracle happen.
If Donald Glover could do it, Anupras can do it too.
University of Wisconsin-Madison senior tries Paul's Pel’meni for the first time, taste buds are ruined for rest of life.
Stewart appears to have created a summer camp.
Football season prompts many fathers to show affection towards those they love most — their favorite players.
The Beet editor Mackenzie Moore has an album out now — sorry to be the one to break it to you.
He is widely regarded by his five friends as the best ping pong player of the group.
When one Madison resident went to complain about his upstairs neighbor’s stomping, he learned that his neighbor doesn’t just have a heavy foot.
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