THE BEET
The Lyrics of my Heart
By Chelsea Hylton | Mar. 7, 2019This week's Melanin Speaking piece comes from Chelsea Hylton.
The Beet
LIFE & STYLE
Melanin Speaking Small Talks: The Greek Goddess Hera
By Fatoumata Ceesay | Feb. 28, 2019This week's Melanin Speaking contribution is a collection of photos from Fatoumata Ceesay.
THE BEET
Avoid Busting A**: A guide to non-slipping success on an icy campus
By Savannah McHugh | Feb. 28, 2019Because Wisconsin has decided to make up for the past three years of snowlessness by dumping it all on us at once, Almanac has decided to share some of its collective, snow-proof wisdom with its loyal readers.
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Trump responds to Warren with “Trump Hotel Junior”
By Nick Rawling and Bailey Hills | Feb. 28, 2019In an effort to respond to Elizabeth Warren’s progressive child care proposal, President Donald Trump has presented “Trump Hotel Junior,” a pre-k program for prepubescent patriots.
LIFE & STYLE
a love letter
Feb. 14, 2019This week's Melanin Speaking submission is a poem from Jess Sullivan.
THE BEET
Debate Over Best Doritos Flavor Unites the Masses, Deciding that All Politicians Suck
By Sam Jones | Feb. 14, 2019At Virginia’s State Capitol this past Tuesday, protestors from near and far and across the aisle rioted together as one to fight for a necessary cause: the Pro-Spicy Sweet Chili Movement.
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The Founding Fathers Roll in Their Graves as Donald Trump Screws up Their Greatest Creation
By Bailey Hills | Feb. 7, 2019A series of unexplainable events indicate that the Founding Fathers sense foul play in the District of Columbia.
LIFE & STYLE
Reclaiming Labels
Jan. 31, 2019This week's Melanin Speaking column piece comes from Noah Laroia-Nguyen, who discusses being mixed in America. “As a mixed person it is often easy to feel as if you have lost your agency, your choice, and your personhood. The labels and names placed onto you can feel like they are erasing the person underneath. My goal for this work is to reclaim our labels and give us a voice. I hope that these photos let you know that you are not alone and you are not invisible.”
THE BEET
Restless Republicans Pitch New Immigration Plans Amidst Shutdown
By Sam Jones | Jan. 22, 2019With the threat of the government shutdown looming, Republican Congressmen suggest an alternative to Trump's wall.
THE BEET
Walls
By Kellen Sharp | Jan. 22, 2019Almanac editor Kellen Sharp reflects on his trip to Israel.
THE BEET
Almanac Obituary- Savannah McHugh
By Sam Jones | Dec. 6, 2018Savannah McHugh, outgoing Almanac editor, went missing last week after leaving her home for unknown reasons. Friends and family members came up with many theories as to where Savannah could have gone, but none seemed satisfactory.
LIFE & STYLE
I've Cried
By J Walton | Dec. 1, 2018I've cried because of hurt Because of happiness Because of understanding and the things from them that mis(s) I have cried because of loss Because of gain Because my mind can never differentiate good and bad The same decipher of glad and mad I've cried because of tears Because of the warmth down one's cheek Like a grandmother's kiss Or a mother’s rubbed knuckle I have cried because I could And with no knowledge of what it means to let go I continue to let tears pour Down my face like water trickling from the shower A wet collar Often stained with black from materials in which makes me look beautiful I have cried And as tears pour down my face I am reminded of my problem That letting go is harder than taking in That even the sturdiest bag does too break That sooner or later, that drenched towel must be wrung dry I have cried And just like being stuck out in the middle of winter for too long I have become numb to the idea of what it means to stop
THE BEET
Local Student Shocked by Lack Of Pothole Presence on Ballot
By Ben Schulte | Nov. 28, 2018UW Madison sophomore Fineas Anpherb was reportedly lost for words Election Day evening after discovering that there was in fact no referendum on Wisconsin’s infamously poor road conditions. “Man, I’m super shook right now,” the young political science major said last night, disheveled hair betraying his state of shock.
THE BEET
Janesville Man Hopes Acosta Fired, Cheers on Gianforte
By Jake Price | Nov. 28, 2018After Jim Acosta maliciously guided a female intern’s hand off his microphone at a White House press meeting on Wednesday, Janesville resident Jared Williamson reacted in disbelief.
THE BEET
After Remarkable Success of Trumpy Bear, Partisan Plushie Manufacturers Set to Unveil New Line of Stuffed Toys
By Nick Rawling | Nov. 28, 2018On Monday, Fox News viewers were introduced to “Trumpy Bear,” a stuffed bear resembling the president in attire and hairstyle.
LIFE & STYLE
Fighting Fear: Reactions to 10/27
By Melanin Speaking | Nov. 15, 2018On Saturday, October 27th 2018, 11 innocent people were killed in their place of worship.
THE BEET
Zoo’s new polar bears offer ‘adorable’ distraction from climate change effects
By Bailey Hills | Nov. 8, 2018The recent addition to Madison’s Henry Vilas Zoo, Arctic Passage, has left local “animal lovers,” and the rest of the zoo’s unsuspecting and indifferent “bystander-type” visitors, starstruck.
LIFE & STYLE
Swipe^2
By Rachel Haynes | Nov. 8, 2018Swipe Left, Swipe Right Who will I swipe tonight, Am I looking for some fun? Or am I looking for the one? Swipe Left, Swipe Right I got a new match, DM, Alright, Swipe Left, Swipe Right “I’ve never dated a black women before...” Unmatched, God, not another one! Swipe Left, Swipe Right How did my friend meet the one? Did she swipe 24 hours a day, Was she even having fun? Swipe Left, Swipe Right DM, “Dinner and a movie tonight?” I guess that sounds like fun Swipe Left, Swipe Right One date, two dates, I think it’s going well Ghosted. Swipe Left, Swipe Right Is this millennial love? Boiled down to a few math algorithms And superficial profiles Swipe Left, Swipe Right I could swipe all night Will I ever be happy? Delete.
THE BEET
President Trump manages to downplay Democratic victory with divisive tweet
By Savannah McHugh | Nov. 8, 2018Tuesday saw a record turnout at polls across Wisconsin and ended up flipping the House in favor of Democrats and the Senate in favor of Republicans.
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