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Friday, January 21, 2022

Almanac

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ALMANAC

Nine ways to get UW-Madison vaccinated — with and without force

Every day, vaccination access is becoming more widespread. However, we all know some people who swear they will never get the COVID-19 vaccine. Chad from your business class, the girl on your floor who was a little too into the moon landing being fake or maybe the entirety of PIKE. Thus, the UW-Madison administration must decide if they will make the vaccination a requirement for returning to school in the fall. Here are nine ways Becky and the administration can incentive the student body to get vaccinated.


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ALMANAC

Fuck that Groundhog

There’s one thing Wisconsinites are feeling this week, and that’s hatred for Punxsutawney Phil. The infamous groundhog predicted 6 more weeks of winter, and with subzero temperatures rolling in this week, it is clear that the groundhog had insider knowledge. 


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ALMANAC

Wisconsin Senate decides they are over COVID-19

The Wisconsin Senate voted Tuesday to repeal the statewide mask mandate. If this mask mandate is abolished, Wisconsin will be joining a list of other memorable states without federal mask mandates. Gracing this list are Alabama, Oklahoma, Missouri and Nebraska, all states people spend their lives dreaming of visiting.


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ALMANAC

Almanac editor leaves position, embarks on intergalactic expedition in search of new species that like his writing

After his reign of terror at The Daily Cardinal’s Almanac desk, editor Jordan Simon announced that he will be leaving his position in order to begin the next chapter in his life. Simon has announced his plans to embark on an intergalactic space mission where he will search for extraterrestrial life that actually likes his writing. The launch date is not confirmed but will reportedly occur as soon as Simon finds a gas station that sells space diesel.


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