'I didn't have any reason to live'
(11/09/10 6:00am)
UW-Madison senior Albert ""Alby"" Luciani took 60 muscle relaxants and lay down in his closet, hoping to quietly slip away.
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Important: Read this or risk your pathetic future
(11/08/10 6:00am)
Almost every week, I wake up with a plethora of e-mails from my professors, all titled ""IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ!"" These e-mails are rarely important, which is why I rarely read them. Most of the time, I ignore these e-mails because they make me feel like Tommy Pickles the day he forget the screwdriver.
High-speed railroad construction halted in wake of election
(11/05/10 6:00am)
The Wisconsin Department of Transportation told businesses to temporarily halt work on the high-speed rail network between Madison and Milwaukee.
Banning Four Loko on campus is crazy
(11/03/10 6:00am)
Chances are, if you go to school at Central Washington University or Ramapo College in New Jersey, ""getting Loko"" is banned. Recently, both schools have had major issues with the relatively new and very alcoholic beverage called Four Loko. As a result of the drink's effects, around 30 people have ended up in the hospital, which police blame on the drink's combined ingredients.
You will eat up 'The Walking Dead'
(11/03/10 6:00am)
Television has never been particularly friendly to zombies. For one, zombies tend to be accompanied by a significant amount of blood and gore, making networks afraid to touch them with a 10-foot pole. Another strike: Zombie infestations generally result in apocalyptic scenarios, and the apocalypse is a bit of a downer. Viewers like happy TV, and civilization as we know it coming to a violent, ghastly end is not a particularly happy thought.
Mouse in the house, raccoon in the attic, NO SLEEP
(11/02/10 6:00am)
For the past month my house has been plagued with mice. I guess I somewhat expected it since I live in an older place than before. It's starting to get cold, and those little buggers are simply looking for a shelter to keep themselves warm (finding the bag of Reese's in our kitchen to eat for a midnight snack was just an unexpected bonus). I might not have minded the mice so much if they were cute or cool like Gus Gus from ""Cinderella,"" but they're not. They don't sing or wear clothes that are too small for them; all they do is eat our food and poop on our floor. Damn you Disney for being misleading!
Let's talk about the birds and the... squirrels?
(11/01/10 6:00am)
Sorry for the confusion, this column will not talk being talking about the metaphorical birds and squirrels (birds have a pecker and squirrels like nuts—don't pretend like you weren't thinking it). Instead it will address the issue of unnecessarily ill-mannered birds and dubious city squirrels that lurk around campus.
State Street Portraits
(10/26/10 6:00am)
When you find yourself strollin' along State Street anywhere from 12:00 a.m. until about 2:30 a.m. on a Friday or Saturday night, it's pretty much a given that you're going to witness one or more of the following.
Worried about 'The Beaver'
(10/25/10 6:00am)
The Hollywood blacklist was not something any writer, actor, director or entertainment professional wanted to find themselves on 60 years ago. It was a list of anyone in Hollywood who had been publicly exposed as having ""communist sympathies,"" connections to those with communist sympathies or anyone who just acted too liberal or progressive. With the country in the midst of the Second Red Scare, anyone who was placed on the Hollywood blacklist was utterly unemployable. Presently, however, whenever someone in the film business talks about making ""The Black List,"" there is an entirely opposite, overwhelmingly positive connotation.
Stage fright: an epidemic
(10/21/10 6:00am)
Many of you probably know at least one person who is absolutely terrified of going to the bathroom in public. Some are merely frightened of publicly relieving themselves when they have to go number two—yes I am using the term you learn in kindergarten to avoid saying the word ""poop"" 30 times in one article. Others cannot even go number one in a public bathroom without freezing up the second someone else walks in.
Packers' Super Bowl hopes side-tracked by key veteran injuries
(10/19/10 6:00am)
The injury bug has bitten the Green Bay Packers in a big way so far this season. The Packers have lost running back Ryan Grant, linebacker Nick Barnett, tight end Jermichael Finley and safety Morgan Burnett to season ending injuries. Key players Clay Matthews, Ryan Pickett, Brandon Chillar, Al Harris, Atari Bigby, Donald Lee and Wisconsin alum Mark Tauscher have also missed time with various ailments.
Jindal stumps for Walker, gets flack from La. students
(10/19/10 6:00am)
Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett is not the only gubernatorial candidate bringing major national politicians to the state. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal appeared at a fundraiser at the Sheraton Hotel Monday to campaign for Milwaukee County Executive Scott Walker.
Changin' holidays faster than Macy's display window
(10/17/10 6:00am)
If you're ready for winter break, raise your hand. Okay, now put your hand back down, you fucking weirdo. People are staring at you.
'Walk' on down to Barrymore tonight
(10/14/10 6:00am)
The past year has been a busy one for indie-rock veterans The Walkmen. In the wake of their sixth studio release, Lisbon, the quintet has been making their way across the United States, and tonight, that victory lap brings them to Madison's own Barrymore Theatre.
Night start and top-ranked foe should provide incentive to arrive early
(10/14/10 6:00am)
It's a rite of fall, really. The leaves change, the temperature drops (theoretically), students show up late to football games and columnists spend a few hundred words decrying those empty bleachers in the north end zone. Frankly, I'm surprised we made it this far in the year without one of them.
Night start and top-ranked foe should provide incentive to arrive early
(10/14/10 6:00am)
It's a rite of fall, really. The leaves change, the temperature drops (theoretically), students show up late to football games and columnists spend a few hundred words decrying those empty bleachers in the north end zone. Frankly, I'm surprised we made it this far in the year without one of them.
LGBTQ center starts anti-bullying campaign
(10/12/10 6:00am)
In the wake of multiple homosexual student suicides across the country, UW-Madison's LGBTQ Campus Center is launching ""Stop the Silence,"" an anti-bullying campaign, as well as holding its annual Coming Out Week this week.
Badgers 4-0 to start season following two-game sweep over Bemidji State at home
(10/11/10 6:00am)
Junior forward Carolyne Prevost does not get many opportunities to play in front of her family. So the Sarnia, Ontario, native made the most of her chance Friday, powering the Wisconsin offense to a 7-1 win, the first of two victories to open conference play.
Guster loses its gusto, makes annoying album
(10/06/10 6:00am)
Was I just in church or at a Beach Boy's concert? This is the question people will ask themselves after hearing Guster's new album, Easy Wonderful. This may sound intriguing, but in fact is a question raised by an album that is just too damn happy. Every one of the album's pop songs ooze love and happiness. It's nauseating. Guster loyals be warned: this album is sure to disappoint.
Horror movies that will scare you halfway to hell this Halloween season
(09/30/10 6:00am)
As the calendar changes to October, it signifies the arrival of fall and, more importantly, the start of the Halloween season. This means pumpkins, costumes and scary movies will be the means of entertainment for the next 31 days. Whether or not you are a fan of scary movies, it's worth seeing at least one of the following films to get yourself in the Halloween spirit.
