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(09/26/06 6:00am)
Tell me, does this sound familiar? The most popular boy in
school has a secret admirer—the quiet dork sitting alone in the
lunchroom, eating a ham sandwich, just dreaming of the day he will
love her. In walks big-boobed lipstick girl—the one with the pink
mini-skirt and the expensive car—also the one dating Mr. Popular.
She spills milk all over the quiet dork ""on accident"" and laughs
with her friends. Mr. Popular is appalled but too conformist to
speak up until the end when there's a prom and the quiet dork
somehow manages to be crowned queen. She and Mr. Popular fall in
love and kiss under some Christmas lights. A song by Paula Cole or
Savage Garden whispers quietly into the credits, and that's the
end.
(09/20/06 6:00am)
A bleak stage is revealed, where all is cloaked in blackness
except for a blindingly white table and the sheen of the long gray
hair of the two identical figures seated there. This is setting of
Samuel Beckett's ""Ohio Impromptu,"" the first of the four Beckett
plays that make up the University Theatre's latest production,
""The Beckett Project.""
(09/06/06 6:00am)
According to the United Nations, violence has claimed more than
20,000 lives in Darfur, while displacement and malnutrition have
endangered more than 3,000,000 people.
(05/04/06 6:00am)
A circle roughly the size of a dorm room was dimly illuminated
from above. Darkness consumed everything else, selfishly hoarding
away whatever was beyond. A knee-high fog kept the floor from view.
Four figures stood equally spaced out along the perimeter of the
circle as I nervously glanced around from the center. When the
individuals shifted their stance from time to time, the fog twisted
and rolled, curling around and upwards, in a vain attempt to
conquer the light, before settling back down.
(04/27/06 6:00am)
A circle roughly the size of a dorm room was dimly lit from
above. A darkness consumed everything else, keeping the rest of the
world out and the floor was hidden from view by a thick fog. Four
figures stood along the perimeter as I nervously glanced around
from the center of the light. When the individuals shifted their
stance from time to time, the fog twisted and rolled, curling
upwards, in a vain attempt to conquer the light.
(04/13/06 6:00am)
So you think Associated Students of Madison is dysfunctional? It
is like a well-oiled machine in comparison to the clunky robot
known as Student Labor Action Coalition. Of course, well-oiled
machine\ in reference to ASM is akin to the beater you received on
your sixteenth birthday—rusty, but trusty.
(03/22/06 6:00am)
Not everyone can experience the fun and challenge of fantasy
football or baseball. I was ranked in the top 300 nationally for
playing fantasy Survivor\ a few years ago, but I missed one episode
and fell out of the ranks. However, freshman year I found something
even better than religiously following reality programs: the
timetable. Spending late nights up with the timetable, or
""tabling"" as the pros call it, provides hours of fun and
entertainment. I've found myself making dream schedules in the wee
hours of the morning, picking out ideal discussion times. But in
reality, the game is a lot more hardcore than many would expect.
These next few weeks, before anyone can register, are like spring
training for pro-tablers, often called March Madness. We pour over
the courses, noting open seats and crafting backup and even more
fallback schedules for the big day. When registration days and
times are e-mailed the races are set. High fives are expressed to
the lucky ones who are fortunate enough to get a 4:30 p.m. time;
consolation hugs are shared with the early risers. But we don't
sympathize too long. These circumstances are what we train for. If
nothing else, tabling is the ultimate test of cerebral and physical
fitness. You need to get your body fit for an online battle,
keeping your dexterity up and your eyes alert. You can't just go
into this nonchalantly.
(02/17/06 6:00am)
In the absence of an al-Qaida skeleton team or a nefarious crew
of 'Axis of Evil' athletes, the 2006 Torino Olympic Games will
probably not include any political-athletic upsets akin to the 1980
'Miracle on Ice.' In the aftermath of the highly-competitive Cold
War, the age of political-athletic competition seems to have
stalled.
(02/09/06 6:00am)
Your knees shake, your stomach turns and you stammer out
incoherent sentences. No, you are not drunk'you're a nervous guy
asking a girl out for the first time. Over the next week, many will
face this daunting task. Yet this initial invitation is only the
beginning.
(12/13/05 6:00am)
'Joint custody blows,' says 'The Squid and the Whale.' Laura
Linney and Jeff Daniels give gifted performances in Noah Baumbach's
autobiographical look at divorce in the 1980s. The script feels
very real'it is like watching a real family onscreen, bumping into,
getting back at and making fools of one another.
(10/13/05 6:00am)
The Barrows scandal brought a powerful person's sexual past into
the limelight once again. The accusations make for interesting news
fodder as promiscuity takes the front page. While necessary to
report, each scandal that has happened in recent years has left an
impact on the impressionable mind of college students en route to
maturity. We are the generation that grew up watching coverage of
the Clinton scandal. Sex has always been a glaringly open part of
culture as we know it.
(10/07/05 6:00am)
A \five-day trigger"" option approved by the Board of Regents'
Business and Finance Committee Thursday could limit the number of
consecutive days of sick leave a UW System employee can take before
having to produce medical proof of illness.
(09/16/05 6:00am)
After a quite enjoyable summer, I noticed the most peculiar
phenomenon. While people I knew returned as expected, a group of
unknown entities began appearing also. They appeared similar to my
friends, yet different, younger, smaller. With my curiosity piqued,
I did what any good engineer does; I forsook my social life and
spent countless hours in the first floor of Wendt constructing a
sturdy fort out of books.
(09/07/05 6:00am)
As fires and floods raged in New Orleans' neighborhoods,
concerned citizens in far-away Madison took a moment of silence
Saturday before a raucous Badger win. Yet while Lee Corso
celebrated the return of Steve Spurrier to college football with
the country duo Big & Rich, corpses piled up in the Superdome's
shadow.
(04/14/05 6:00am)
In all truth, many thought Odyssey would prove to be a
monumental failure, something akin to Weezer's self-destructive
follow up to Pinkerton, or Daft Punk's most recent offering.
(04/13/05 6:00am)
The video \Affluenza,"" which critiqued, analyzed and outlined
the uniquely American obsession with greed, speaks to a disturbing
trend. While it was made in 1997, the materials presented in it are
still quite pertinent as the American Dream ethos and dogma are
pervasive in nature.
(03/31/05 6:00am)
After an early exit in this year's NCAA hockey tournament, the
Wisconsin men's team has added incentive to move on to next year.
Though the loss to second-seed Michigan in the first round was a
disappointing end to a solid season, the future is bright for the
young Badger squad. The team ended the season with an overall
record of 23-14-4 and has no doubt it will improve upon that mark
next year.
(03/02/05 6:00am)
With the rise of online music stores, the future of music might
become lost amid the Internet haze. It seems as we download single
songs apart from the total package, we potentially lose something
extremely important to the complete work of a record.
(02/07/05 6:00am)
Homosexuals are akin to the people who prefer vanilla ice cream.
Both are choices which have validity to the person who chooses
them, but, to be honest, I do not fully understand either one.
(01/20/05 6:00am)
One of the myriad throwaway bits in Steven Soderbergh's
underwhelming \Ocean's Twelve"" involved a humorously
self-conscious cameo by Topher Grace, in which he confessed to
""walking through that Dennis Quaid movie."" That sly in-joke is
particularly ironic considering that ""In Good Company,"" the
wonderful new film from Paul and Chris Weitz of ""American Pie""
and ""About a Boy"" fame, is anchored by a charming, possibly
breakthrough performance from Grace which is anything but a
walkthrough. ""In Good Company"" deftly weaves the wit of a cynic
with a non-intrusive sense of cheeriness evident in a decent
Cameron Crowe movie, and ends up being naturally uplifting without
sidestepping realism.
