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(05/03/06 6:00am)
I kind of feel like it's the end of an affair. Every week I come
to see you. For five minutes, you laugh, you look puzzled, you tell
me it was OK and I go away again. Sometimes you see me on the
street and you do a double take, but usually we don't speak. I'm
just your layover in between the front page and the crossword. Well
now the affair is over. I'm not going to be the other woman
anymore. You'll have to be with someone else. I'd like to at least
go out with a bang … and a good column idea.
(04/26/06 6:00am)
As part of this week's All-Campus Party festivities, I
volunteered to serve free breakfast to hundreds of hungry students
on Bascom Hill Monday morning. Psychologists should study events
like these because free food and early Monday mornings bring out
the worst in human nature.
(04/19/06 6:00am)
A month from right about now, I will be in the airport in a
pantsuit and carrying a briefcase, en route to Chicago from
Minneapolis for a business trip. I'll probably be looking over file
folders, adding notes and highlighting things using the writing
utensils I now keep in my breast pocket. I'll make small talk with
my boss as we wait for the plane to board, smiling so
(04/12/06 6:00am)
At the end of this school year, I will be leaving my column and
The Daily Cardinal newspaper. In my two years here, I have only
written for the Almanac page and have always wondered if I could
have cut it as a writer for a different desk. Because I will never
get the chance to find out, I thought I would test out my writing
versatility on you, the reader, and let you decide.
(04/05/06 6:00am)
Even though there were several forums, input meetings and milk
and cookie sessions about it, I never voiced my opinion on the
renovation and remodeling of the unions on campus. And it may be
too late to get these suggestions in, but I figure why not? So
union planning committee, get this down, I've got a plan of my
own.
(03/29/06 6:00am)
This past weekend marked the fifth anniversary of the death of
my granddad, Maj. Bennie Canty. Because the occasion went virtually
unmarked, I have decided to reflect on his passing through the
sharing of my favorite family anecdote.
(03/22/06 6:00am)
Not everyone can experience the fun and challenge of fantasy
football or baseball. I was ranked in the top 300 nationally for
playing fantasy Survivor\ a few years ago, but I missed one episode
and fell out of the ranks. However, freshman year I found something
even better than religiously following reality programs: the
timetable. Spending late nights up with the timetable, or
""tabling"" as the pros call it, provides hours of fun and
entertainment. I've found myself making dream schedules in the wee
hours of the morning, picking out ideal discussion times. But in
reality, the game is a lot more hardcore than many would expect.
These next few weeks, before anyone can register, are like spring
training for pro-tablers, often called March Madness. We pour over
the courses, noting open seats and crafting backup and even more
fallback schedules for the big day. When registration days and
times are e-mailed the races are set. High fives are expressed to
the lucky ones who are fortunate enough to get a 4:30 p.m. time;
consolation hugs are shared with the early risers. But we don't
sympathize too long. These circumstances are what we train for. If
nothing else, tabling is the ultimate test of cerebral and physical
fitness. You need to get your body fit for an online battle,
keeping your dexterity up and your eyes alert. You can't just go
into this nonchalantly.
(03/08/06 6:00am)
People with summer birthdays and August birthdays in particular
are inevitably asked the same dumb questions. Because we are on the
cusp of the school year, our parents can make the decision whether
or not to send us to kindergarten at five and be on the young side,
or six and rule the pack. (My parents selected the former, most
likely because they were sick of me sitting around the house after
pre-school watching Mary Tyler Moore\ re-runs and eating baked
potatoes.)
(03/01/06 6:00am)
This year, March is coming in like a lion. Not because of the
weather, but because we are close to spring break and that spells
trouble. The eight school days prior to vacation are the longest,
most boring days of the semester.
(02/22/06 6:00am)
It all started when my brother and I went shopping for shoes
this weekend. In the Men's outdoor shoe section, he stopped cold.
His face lit up and he kind of shrieked a bit.
(02/15/06 6:00am)
According to a poll in USA Weekend Magazine, Madison is ranked
the most romantic city in the nation. Peter Greenberg, Travel
editor for the 'Today Show' and UW-Madison alum, selected Madison
because it 'lends itself to cuddling.'
(02/08/06 6:00am)
Last week the Wisconsin State Journal listed a story on the
front page with the headline, 'Onion Editors Favor Tubby
Wisconsinites.' The article went on to explain how the editors of
the satirical publication had an easier time taking file footage of
overweight people when their headquarters were in Wisconsin, rather
than their current home in New York City.
(02/01/06 6:00am)
I listen to music while I walk and my trip to class is
approximately three songs long. Thanks to a schedule filled with
holes, I end up walking either to or from Vilas approximately four
times per day. Some quick math will tell you that I have the
opportunity to listen to 12 songs during my daily treks across
campus.
(01/25/06 6:00am)
The new year is in full swing now and there are many reasons,
other than resolution fulfillment, to lose those extra pounds. Take
Robert Cole for instance, an Australian prisoner who shed 31 pounds
to escape through a six-inch wide hole he carved in the wall. He
was on the lam for three days before he was captured in a Sydney
shopping mall.
(01/18/06 6:00am)
I woke up at 6:30 a.m. for what seemed like the first time since
Nick Arcade was on the air. During winter break, I had the luxury
of going to bed just as 'Good Morning America' came on. But
yesterday was different, and consequently, yesterday was awful. I
stood under the shower for four minutes before realizing the water
was cold. At the grips of hypothermia, I said to myself, 'I need
one more week.'
(12/12/05 6:00am)
'Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about me, why won't they
just let me live.' The poignant lyrics and vibrant keyboard tones
of pre-crazy Bobby Brown broke our eardrums as it blasted out on to
the dance floor. I was sitting at a table playing with my camera.
(12/05/05 6:00am)
While walking around my neighborhood bookseller, I strolled into
the inspiration section. No, these weren't religious texts or the
area where singles from the supergroup Chicago are sold, but books
on a whole new level.
(11/28/05 6:00am)
Everyone does it. And if they say they don't do it, they are
probably lying. Some people like to talk about it, others would
rather keep it to themselves. There are a few different techniques,
but most people go about it the same way. And this week, I feel I
am ready to come clean and discuss my once private activities with
the rest of the vocal minority. Yes, I have Googled myself, and I
am here to tell the world about it.
(11/21/05 6:00am)
I've noticed in the past few weeks that my columns have been
more how-tos than witty anecdotes. I don't know where I get off
providing advice to anyone; I can hardly do my own laundry.
(11/14/05 6:00am)
Tomorrow is the first day you will be able to sign a lease for
next year's apartment, house or slum. This day can be exciting. If
you're on the ball, you've been searching for places to live.
You've scoured your dorm floor or found a group of compatible
people and tomorrow you will get first dibs on the home of your
dreams.