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Saturday, May 25, 2024

Return of the redlines: Wisconsin Republicans silently celebrate victory with new legislative maps

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Redlining returns as Wisconsin Republicans have reversed course on stance against new maps after they realized it brings back 1900s segregation — which was their plan all along.

On Monday, Feb. 20, Democratic Gov. Tony Evers signed new legislative maps after months of contention between Democrats and Republicans. After looking at the new maps, state Republicans have fallen silent after Democrats once again gave them exactly what they wanted without working for it.

“These new maps are a victory — not for any political party, but for our state and for the people of Wisconsin, who have spent a decade demanding more and demanding better from their elected officials,” Evers said in a tweet celebrating the achievement. “This is a game-changing moment that will define our state’s future.”

Assembly Speaker Robin Vos, R-Rochester, responded with a crying laugh emoji under the Evers’ tweet before quickly deleting it.

Vos, after failures to impeach new liberal Supreme Court Justice Janet Protasiewicz, decided to switch course and let Democrats do what they do best: supporting Republicans.

State Democrats have, once again, said parties need to come together to fix the problem they caused.

“We must see each other not as enemies, but as fellow Americans," Evers said.

Changes in the maps have garnered mixed results from Wisconsinites. One local Milwaukee north side resident didn’t notice any changes.

One white Madisonian, who identified himself as a liberal, has shown his excitement for the new legislative maps. He’s excited to see property values increase.

“I like the maps,” the Madison resident said. “It’s about time they change the lines to stop busing other children to my child’s school.”

Democrats, now realizing the mistake, are now sending emails to voters for campaign donations to change maps again.

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