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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Tuesday, November 29, 2022
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McDonald’s nearing end of 41-year-old McRib supply

The last chance to buy the never-frozen sandwich is Nov. 24.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

The loved ones of someone who has just passed away often recall that the recently deceased had a moment of clarity — more formally known as terminal lucidity — in which they went from sick and dying to clear headed and alert. Unfortunately, this is often a sign of impending death. 

Well, the McRib is experiencing terminal lucidity. While the sandwich has experienced sickness and even flatlined multiple times, it was saved by 1994's “The Flintstones” movie and the Cher model of having farewell tour after farewell tour. 

According to a tweet from the fast food chain, there’s no bluffing this time — this is the last time the McRib will be available. But it’s not because of consumer demand, shipping issues or any other reason businesses tend to give for removing a product with a cult following. 

The real reason is much more final — the 41-year-old supply of McRibs is simply running out, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski explained.

“Back in 1981, a set amount of McRibs were made to be rationed out. Now, the inventory is so low that each franchise only received two paper bags full of our never-frozen sandwiches. It would be impossible to serve the McRib in 2023 because there simply won’t be any available to us,” said Kempczinski. 

Fans of the phenomenon have questioned why McDonald’s can’t simply make more. Well, there’s a good reason — it would be illegal.

“Things were different in those days. Standards were different. There weren’t any. It’s the flavors people most enjoy in the McRib that the federal government has since deemed ‘not fit for the consumption of humans or mice,’” explained the CEO. “The original sandwiches were grandfathered in, but now, there is no path forward without completely changing the foundation of the McRib to something that’s nearly 100% food. Where’s the fun in that?” 

As the McRib’s death’s door nears on Nov. 24, remember to treat it like a weird uncle. He might look like pasty meat, smell like aged sweat and push a little too hard to have you come to his house, but you just have to get through Thanksgiving. 

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