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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Friday, March 29, 2024
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Bass Pro Shop under fire after announcing plans for new pyramid

Following public outcry, consumers look for a response after the controversial decision.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Currently occupying a 321 foot tall glass pyramid in Memphis, Bass Pro Shop announced plans to build another pyramid. Given how popular the outdoor equipment retailer is not only as a store, but as a tourist attraction, the company believes it’s time to build a second one.

“America needs another Bass Pro Shop pyramid,” said CEO Johnny Morris. “Now more than ever.”

While the announcement has been widely celebrated, the proposed location has stirred some debate.

“With how much success we’ve had at our Memphis location, we asked ourselves, ‘Why change?’” added Morris. “That’s why we’re proud to say the new Bass Pro Shop pyramid will be right next to the existing one.”

Bass Pro Shop fans have been skeptical about this decision, wondering why the company would put another pyramid right next to the original. They have speculated about it being distinct in some way. 

To these concerns, Morris reassured consumers that “there is no need to worry.” 

“All your favorite activities and attractions at the original Bass Pro Shop pyramid — from the fish tanks to the shooting galleries — will be in the new one,” Morris said. “In fact, the current plan is that the new pyramid will be identical in every way to the original.”

This has been the key source of controversy. 

A local Bass Pro Shop goer outlined their gripe with the decision. 

“I would ask why it’s necessary to build an identical Bass Pro Shop pyramid right next to the existing one,” they stated. “It’s absolutely ridiculous if you ask me. Why are they only building a second one? They should be working on their third or even fourth at this point.”

Public outcry for a third pyramid in Memphis seems to have reached a fever pitch, yet the Cardinal awaits a response from Bass Pro Shop. Make sure to stay tuned into this developing story.

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Jeffrey Brown

Jeffrey Brown is a former Arts Editor for the Daily Cardinal. He writes for The Beet occasionally and does some drawing and photography too. He is a senior majoring in Sociology. Do not feed him after midnight.

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