I think of life this summer night
A lot to be grateful for; I have seen the light
But like a cloud obstructing the sun
My mistakes resurface; memories I wish I could shun
I think of my nomadic days
When I’d cling onto people to find my way
I traversed the secluded sands of loneliness
Every step I took then, I made a mess
It’s pointless hanging onto a past I cannot affect
Yet the moral quandary remains: intent or effect?
I had the best intentions, but does that matter?
Whether I meant good or evil, weren’t my words still unwanted chatter?
Were these people simply the means to an end?
No, I think they were ends in themselves; I dearly wish I could make amends
There can be no forgiveness from them, no closure at all
Moving on makes sense then, but guilt hangs over like a pall
I think of plenty of fish in the sea, the wonderful people within reach
I think of tempting fate, and then I freeze
What if it all goes up in flames again?
I know my mistakes, but my brain replays this fearful refrain
I cannot cause more discomfort, or have moral quandaries
I must not lose sight of virtual boundaries
There can’t be more summer nights pondering life in bed
More albatrosses wrapped around my head
So I must forgive myself, let it lay to rest
Build on my progress filling the void in my chest
I must carry the lessons from my failings
Celebrate my strengths and own my shortcomings
Cherish those who make me feel wanted
That’s where my destiny lies; I’m just getting started.