A Brit walked into an American restaurant
Asked for a plate of chips
Confused, the bartender pulled out a packet of Lays
Laid it on a plate and offered it, poker faced
The Brit was enraged
“These are crisps, not chips innit,” he said
“What the duck is a crisp?” said the American, pissed
“You’re uh bloody prat, an absolute twat,”
The Brit was now burning up and mad
As entitled as a Brit could be, he gave the bartender a slap
“That’s it bruv, you’re getting clapped”
They exchanged more slaps and kicks and punches
A pure kerfuffle stretching two continents
Foul fingers were raised and the Brit was offered a sandwich
Unfortunately not lobster, but instead knuckle
The cops came to the scene and passively watched and gleamed
They might now be bleeding, but at least they are white
A Syrian customer now arrived
He wanted some chips, the American kind
The fighting duo noticed and stopped the fight
They looked each other in the eye and nodded
Knocking the plate to the ground
sending the chips scuttling around
“Imperialism, am I right?”
They laughed and gleefully agreed
There was no confusion this time around
Anupras Mohapatra is a former opinion editor for The Daily Cardinal and currently serves on the Editorial Board. He is a senior double majoring in Computer Science and Journalism.