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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Saturday, December 09, 2023

Yet Another Mediocre White Man Decides to Launch a Podcast

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Forced to come of age in an era characterized by near-ubiquitous economic insecurity, ecological catastrophe and the slow collapse of a once-hegemonic empire, UW junior Brett Brungle has decided to confront his bleak reality the only way he knows how to: start a podcast.

His idea was mostly inspired by Joe Rogan, who Brungle believes to be the smartest man on the planet. 

“You gotta listen to the episode where he has on Elon Musk. It’s so epic,” he said.

Brungle enlisted one of his brothers from his fraternity, Phi Omega Omega, to co-host the podcast with him.

“Between you and me, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed,” Brungle told us. “But then of course, I’m pretty sure I have an IQ of 200, just lower than Joe Rogan, so we’ll probably be ok.”

To minimize expenses, Brungle has decided he won’t invest in any professional recording equipment and will instead just use his four-year-old laptop’s microphone.

“Who cares if it sounds like I’m talking underwater into a tin can?” Brungle said. “It’s all about being smart, like Joe Rogan.”

Brungle also assured us that content-wise, the podcast will bring absolutely nothing new or original to the table.

“I will probably just rip segments and bits off of the podcasts that I listen to and then execute them very poorly,” Brungle said. 


In entirely unrelated news, The Daily Cardinal Almanac is launching a weekly podcast!   

It will be hosted by Almanac Co-Editors Nick/Gillian Rawling, junior computer engineering major Ben Everson and junior economics major Jake Anderson. Our pilot episode will be posted to the Almanac section of on Thursday, March 4.

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